Propaniac – S11E09 - Peggy's Gone to Pots

S11E09 - Peggy's Gone to Pots

0:20 - 0:28
0:30 - 0:32
(SLURPS)
0:32 - 0:34
GENTLEMEN,
0:34 - 0:37
DO NOT BE ALARMED IF YOU HEAR ANY LOUD NOISES
0:37 - 0:39
COMING FROM MY PROPERTY OVER THE NEXT FEW DAYS.
0:39 - 0:41
I'M JUST BLOWING STUFF UP.
0:41 - 0:43
LOOK WHAT I FOUND AT THE LIBRARY!
0:43 - 0:45
'HOW TO BLOW STUFF UP!
0:46 - 0:47
YOU'RE MAKING A BOMB?
0:47 - 0:49
SEVERAL. I'M ENGAGED IN AN ARMS RACE
0:49 - 0:52
WITH AN EXTERMINATOR IN MCMAYNERBERRY.
0:52 - 0:54
YOU COULD GET IN A LOT OF TROUBLE FOR THIS, DALE.
0:55 - 0:57
I'M PRETTY SURE THE GOVERNMENT KEEPS TRACK OF BOOKS LIKE THAT.
0:57 - 0:59
AT LEAST I HOPE THEY DO.
0:59 - 1:03
YOU MEAN RUSTY SHACKLEFORD COULD GET IN A LOT OF TROUBLE.
1:03 - 1:06
I HAVE A LIBRARY CARD IN HIS NAME. SHA-SHA!
1:06 - 1:09
(SIGHS): ARE YOU STILL PRETENDING TO BE THAT GUY?
1:09 - 1:10
IT'S A VICTIMLESS CRIME,
1:10 - 1:12
LIKE EATING GRAPES AT THE SUPERMARKET.
1:12 - 1:16
OR STEALING COUPONS FROM HANK'S SUNDAY NEWSPAPER...
1:16 - 1:18
BOOMHAUER.
1:21 - 1:23
I WANT YOU TO ALL LOOK AT THE PLATE
1:23 - 1:24
IN FRONT OF YOU... WHAT DO YOU SEE?
1:24 - 1:25
STEAK!
1:25 - 1:27
THAT'S RIGHT. STEAK.
1:27 - 1:30
THAT'S WHAT YOU EAT WHEN YOU'RE A MEMBER OF TEAM SIZEMORE,
1:30 - 1:34
THE NUMBER ONE REALTOR IN HEIMLICH COUNTY.
1:34 - 1:36
BUT THIS MONTH'S TOP SELLERS GET SOMETHING MORE.
1:37 - 1:39
THEY GET TO EAT STEAK... WITH ME.
1:39 - 1:42
OH, THE VIEW MUST BE GREAT FROM UP THERE.
1:42 - 1:44
AND THIS MONTH'S LUCKY DINER IS...
1:44 - 1:45
(QUIETLY): PEGGY HILL!
1:45 - 1:46
CANDI AND ROGER!
1:47 - 1:48
OH, YEAH! YEAH!
1:48 - 1:50
DAMN IT!
1:50 - 1:51
(LAUGHS): COME ON, YOU TWO!
1:51 - 1:53
BRING YOUR STEAKS ON UP HERE.
1:54 - 1:54
(APPLAUDING)
1:55 - 1:56
TA-TA!
1:59 - 2:01
IT'S EASY TO BE THE TOP SALESPERSON
2:01 - 2:02
WHEN YOU SELL ARLEN HEIGHTS.
2:03 - 2:04
PEGGY IS THE REAL HERO...
2:04 - 2:07
TRYING TO MOVE THOSE HOUSES IN BELCHEFS GROVE.
2:07 - 2:09
(CHUCKLES) CANDI: DON'T WORRY,
2:09 - 2:10
YOU'LL GET HERE ONE DAY,
2:10 - 2:12
ONE SHACK AT A TIME.
2:12 - 2:15
(CANDI CHUCKLING) ROGER: OH! OOH, OUCH.
2:15 - 2:17
HANK: WHY DO WE HAVE TO WATCH
2:17 - 2:18
A FOREIGN MOVIE?
2:18 - 2:19
IF IT WAS ANY GOOD,
2:20 - 2:21
THEY WOULD'VE MADE AN AMERICAN VERSION.
2:21 - 2:24
DO YOU THINK I AM ENJOYING THIS? NO.
2:24 - 2:27
BULL NEED UPSCALE CLIENTS IN PLACES LIKE ARLEN HEIGHTS.
2:28 - 2:30
WEALTHY PEOPLE LIKE CULTURE.
2:30 - 2:33
CULTURED PEOPLE WATCH FOREIGN MOVIES.
2:33 - 2:35
SOMETHING'S HAPPENING!
2:36 - 2:38
(MAN ON TV GROANS)
2:38 - 2:39
(SIGHS): THIS IS RIDICULOUS.
2:39 - 2:41
RIDICULOUS?!
2:41 - 2:42
ARE YOU KIDDING, DAD?
2:43 - 2:45
COLETTE IS GONNA LEAVE ETIENNE FOR CLAUDE
2:45 - 2:48
BECAUSE ETIENNE HAS MALAISE.
2:48 - 2:49
MALAISE!
2:51 - 2:53
THAT GUY JUST SPROUTED WINGS.
2:53 - 2:56
ALL RIGHT, THAT'S IT, PEGGY, I'M GONNA HAVE TO ASK YOU
2:56 - 2:58
TO RELINQUISH THE REMOTE CONTROL.
2:58 - 3:00
FINE! I'LL WATCH THE REST AT MINH'S.
3:00 - 3:03
I BET SHE LIKES FOREIGN MOVIES... SHE'S A FOREIGNER.
3:03 - 3:05
TO HER, IT'S JUST A MOVIE.
3:05 - 3:07
TED: DINNER WAS SPLENDID.
3:07 - 3:10
I SUPPOSE IT WOULD BE APPROPRIATE FOR US TO RECIPROCATE.
3:10 - 3:12
WE'RE HAVING A PARTY THIS WEEKEND.
3:12 - 3:14
WE'D LOVE IT IF YOU COULD MAKE IT.
3:14 - 3:16
OH, WE'LL BE THERE!
3:16 - 3:18
AND THEN MAYBE THIS SUMMER, WE COME VISIT
3:18 - 3:19
AT YOUR BEACH HOUSE ON THE GULF.
3:19 - 3:21
UH... OF COURSE.
3:21 - 3:22
WELL, LET'S SET A DATE!
3:22 - 3:24
I GET CALENDAR.
3:24 - 3:26
PLEASE, DO NOT MAKE THIS AWKWARD.
3:26 - 3:28
(DOORBELL RINGS)
3:28 - 3:30
I'LL GET IT.
3:30 - 3:32
OH, IT'S THE WASSONASONGS.
3:33 - 3:34
(GASPS): OF ARLEN HEIGHTS!
3:34 - 3:36
WELL, HOW IS LIFE IN THE HEIGHTS?
3:36 - 3:39
YOU KNOW, I'M A REALTOR... ARE YOU LOOKING TO SELL?
3:39 - 3:41
BECAUSE I JUST WATCHED THIS WONDERFUL FRENCH MOVIE.
3:41 - 3:43
ACTUALLY, TED AND I
3:44 - 3:45
ARE THINKING ABOUT SELLING OUR HOUSE.
3:46 - 3:47
WE'RE HAVING A LITTLE PARTY THIS WEEKEND.
3:48 - 3:50
YOU SHOULD COME... WE COULD TALK MORE.
3:50 - 3:52
(GASPS) MAKE SURE NEW GUESTHOUSE HAS BIG ROOM,
3:52 - 3:56
SO I CAN DROP OFF PRESENT... ME!
3:56 - 3:59
(DALE HUMMING A TUNE)
4:01 - 4:04
"SET THE TIMER AND RETREAT TO A SAFE DISTANCE."
4:04 - 4:05
'KEY.
4:16 - 4:17
OH, MY LUCKY HAT!
4:22 - 4:24
(RELIEVED SIGH)
4:24 - 4:26
MY SMOKES!
4:27 - 4:28
(EXPLOSION)
4:29 - 4:31
THANKS FOR THE RIDE, HANK.
4:31 - 4:33
IF I PASS OUT BEFORE WE GET TO THE HOSPITAL,
4:33 - 4:35
TELL THEM MY NAME IS RUSTY SHACKLEFORD.
4:35 - 4:37
HE'S GOT GREAT INSURANCE...
4:37 - 4:40
MEDICAID. THIS IS THE DUMBEST THING YOU'VE EVER DONE.
4:41 - 4:42
YOU COULD HAVE LOST A FINGER.
4:42 - 4:46
C-CORRECTION: RUSTY SHACKLEFORD COULD HAVE LOST A FINGER.
4:46 - 4:48
(SIGHS)
4:52 - 4:54
HELLO. I'M PEGGY HILL.
4:54 - 4:56
I'M A GUEST OF THE WASSONASONGS.
4:56 - 4:58
YOU'RE ON THE LIST.
4:58 - 5:00
WELCOME TO ARLEN HEIGHTS.
5:09 - 5:11
PEGGY!
5:11 - 5:13
COME ON IN. OH, I'M NOT TRYING TO PRESSURE YOU,
5:14 - 5:16
BUT I THOUGHT I'D BRING THIS SIGN IN JUST IN CASE.
5:25 - 5:26
(QUIETLY): JACKPOT!
5:28 - 5:31
HI. PEGGY HILL, SIZEMORE REALTY.
5:31 - 5:33
HELLO. PEGGY HILL, SIZEMORE REALLY.
5:33 - 5:35
MRS. WASSONASONG: TAKE YOUR SEATS, EVERYBODY.
5:35 - 5:37
THE PRESENTATION IS ABOUT TO BEGIN.
5:37 - 5:38
PRESENTATION?
5:38 - 5:40
THAT'S RIGHT. ALL THE PRODUCTS YOU SEE
5:40 - 5:43
IN THIS KITCHEN ARE MADE BY THE COZY KITCHEN COMPANY,
5:43 - 5:46
AND I AM YOUR COZY KITCHEN SALESLADY.
5:46 - 5:48
HEY, THIS NOT A PARTY.
5:48 - 5:51
IT'S AN AMBUSH. YOU THINK IF WE BUY FANCY CORKSCREW,
5:51 - 5:53
WE'LL GET INVITED TO BEACH HOUSE?
5:53 - 5:55
(CHUCKLES QUIETLY): I KNOW WHAT I'M BUYING...
5:56 - 5:58
A GIANT SPATULA TO FLIP THIS HOUSE.
5:59 - 6:00
(DOORBELL RINGS)
6:04 - 6:05
DALE GRIBBLE?
6:05 - 6:07
MAYBE. WHO'S ASKING?
6:07 - 6:09
RUSTY SHACKLEFORD.
6:09 - 6:12
DU... WHA.?! IT'S ME, DALE.
6:12 - 6:13
BUT-BUT THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE.
6:13 - 6:15
RUSTY DIED IN THIRD GRADE.
6:15 - 6:16
I DIDN'T DIE. I MOVED.
6:17 - 6:19
YOU NEED TO STOP USING MY NAME, DALE.
6:19 - 6:20
I AM NOT USING YOUR NAME.
6:20 - 6:21
AND I AM NOT DALE!
6:22 - 6:23
COME ON, DALE, YOU'RE SMOKING THE SAME BRAND
6:23 - 6:25
OF CIGARETTES YOU DID IN THE THIRD GRADE.
6:27 - 6:29
GET OFF MY PROPERTY, WHOEVER I AM!
6:29 - 6:32
(SIREN BLARING)
6:34 - 6:36
TA-DA!
6:36 - 6:38
COZY KITCHEN MAKES SPAGHETTI SO AUTHENTIC
6:39 - 6:40
YOU'LL SAY "MAMA MIA!"
6:40 - 6:41
(LAUGHS)
6:44 - 6:45
(ANGRY GROAN)
6:46 - 6:49
NOW, LET'S MINGLE AND PLACE ORDERS.
6:50 - 6:53
ONE FIVE-BEDROOM COLONIAL WITH A SIDE OF MULTIPLE OFFERS?
6:53 - 6:55
(BOTH LAUGH)
6:55 - 6:58
OH PEGGY, YOU'RE A DELIGHT.
6:58 - 7:00
BUT I'M HAVING SECOND THOUGHTS ABOUT MOVING.
7:00 - 7:02
WHAT? YOU CAN'T.
7:02 - 7:04
THIS IS MY WAY INTO ARLEN HEIGHTS.
7:04 - 7:07
IS IT THE COMMISSION? I'LL CUT IT IN HALF.
7:07 - 7:08
OH, IT'S NOT THE COMMISSION.
7:08 - 7:10
THESE PEOPLE AREN'T JUST MY CUSTOMERS,
7:10 - 7:11
THEY'VE BECOME MY FRIENDS.
7:11 - 7:13
WHO WILL TAKE CARE OF THEM?
7:14 - 7:15
I WILL... I WILL TAKE OVER
7:15 - 7:18
AS COZY KITCHEN REPRESENTATIVE FOR YOU.
7:18 - 7:21
I WILL SELL YOUR HOUSE; I'LL EVEN HELP YOU PACK.
7:21 - 7:23
I AM A FULL-SERVICE REALTOR.
7:23 - 7:26
WOW, PEGGY, YOU SURE ARE MAKING THIS EASY FOR ME.
7:26 - 7:28
BUT I NEED TO TALK TO TED FIRST.
7:36 - 7:37
IT'S DONE. WE'RE FREE.
7:37 - 7:39
SUPER.
7:39 - 7:40
(TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWS)
7:45 - 7:47
SO WAIT, HOW IS SELLING KITCHEN APPLIANCES
7:47 - 7:49
GONNA HELP YOU SELL HOUSES?
7:49 - 7:51
COZY KITCHEN GETS ME IN THE DOOR,
7:51 - 7:54
THEN PEGGY THE REALTOR SELLS THE HOUSE.
7:54 - 7:56
LOOK AT ALL THESE FREE SAMPLES.
7:56 - 7:57
YOU SEE THIS CAN OPENER, HANK?
7:57 - 8:01
THIS IS ALSO A DOOR OPENER.
8:01 - 8:05
WOW! A TOASTER THAT ONLY COOKS HOT DOGS?
8:05 - 8:07
THAT'S NOT A TOASTER, BOBBY. WHAT IS IT?
8:07 - 8:10
A DOOR OPENER!
8:10 - 8:11
EXACTLY!
8:11 - 8:12
AND ONCE I OPEN ENOUGH DOORS,
8:12 - 8:14
I WILL BE THE TOP SELLER
8:14 - 8:16
EATING STEAK AT CHRIS'S TABLE.
8:21 - 8:22
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
8:23 - 8:24
YOU'RE ALONG WAY FROM BELCHER'S GROVE.
8:25 - 8:26
PEGGY, I'VE BEEN WONDERING... IN BELCHER'S,
8:26 - 8:29
DO YOU COUNT A COUCH ON THE ROOF AS A FAMILY ROOM?
8:29 - 8:30
(LAUGHS)
8:30 - 8:32
(CHUCKLES): OH-HO-HO, SOMETIMES.
8:32 - 8:35
BUT RIGHT NOW, I'M VISITING CLIENTS.
8:39 - 8:40
PEGGY: TA-TA!
8:41 - 8:43
(DOORBELL RINGS)
8:43 - 8:44
HI.
8:44 - 8:46
I AM PEGGY HILL,
8:46 - 8:48
MEMBER OF SIZEMORE REALTY, AND YOUR NEW
8:48 - 8:50
COZY KITCHEN...
8:50 - 8:51
REPRESENTATIVE.
8:51 - 8:55
(SHOUTS): I'M LEAVING A FREE SAMPLE AND MY CARD.
9:08 - 9:10
I-I REALLY NEED TO TALK TO DALE.
9:10 - 9:12
I'M TRYING TO GET A SMALL BUSINESS LOAN,
9:12 - 9:14
BUT THE BANK THINKS I'M THE SAME GUY
9:14 - 9:17
WHO SKIPPED TOWN ON A STRING OF FAILING ALPACA FARMS.
9:17 - 9:19
WELL, IF WE SEE HIM, WE'LL GIVE HIM THE MESSAGE.
9:20 - 9:21
I WANT TO HANDLE THIS LIKE GENTLEMEN, BUT...
9:21 - 9:24
WELL, I'M NOT LEAVING TOWN UNTIL IT'S SORTED OUT.
9:24 - 9:25
NICE MEETING YOU!
9:27 - 9:29
DID YOU HEAR THAT?
9:29 - 9:30
HE'S NOT LEAVING.
9:31 - 9:32
(GRUNTS)
9:32 - 9:34
HE'S GONNA HUNT ME LIKE AN ANIMAL
9:34 - 9:36
AND KILL ME... LIKE AN ANIMAL!
9:36 - 9:37
I WAS NEVER HERE!
9:39 - 9:41
COULD SOMEONE TOSS ME A BEER.
9:44 - 9:46
CAN I HELP YOU?
9:47 - 9:49
HEY THERE. I'M JUDY BARNES, COZY KITCHEN CORPORATE.
9:49 - 9:53
I JUST WANTED TO STOP BY TO WELCOME YOU IN PERSON.
9:53 - 9:55
IT'S FUN, ISN'T IT?
9:55 - 9:57
WELL, I'M NOT GETTING THE WARMEST REACTION,
9:57 - 10:00
AND THE FREE SAMPLES DIDN'T HELP OUT AS MUCH I EXPECTED.
10:00 - 10:03
THAT WASN'T A SAMPLE KIT, SILLY.
10:03 - 10:06
THAT WAS YOUR FIRST INVENTORY SHIPMENT.
10:06 - 10:08
AW, WELL, POTATO, PO-TAH-TO.
10:08 - 10:09
NO. POTATO.
10:09 - 10:12
YOU OWE US MONEY, LOTS OF MONEY.
10:12 - 10:16
YOU PROBABLY DON'T REALIZE HOW THREATENING YOU'RE COMING OFF,
10:16 - 10:17
EVEN WITH THE SMILE.
10:17 - 10:19
PEGGY, BLESS YOUR HEART.
10:19 - 10:22
I DON'T THINK YOU UNDERSTAND HOW DEEP YOU'RE IN.
10:22 - 10:25
I SUGGEST YOU READ YOUR CONTRACT.
10:27 - 10:29
"NO RIGHT TO ARBITRATION...
10:30 - 10:32
SERIOUS FINANCIAL RAMIFICATIONS."
10:32 - 10:34
AND IT'S NOT JUST THE STARTER KIT!
10:34 - 10:36
I ALSO HAVE MONTHLY QUOTAS!
10:36 - 10:37
THEY'VE GOT ME OVER A BARREL.
10:37 - 10:39
THIS IS JUST LIKE THAT TIME I HAD
10:39 - 10:42
TO SELL ALL THOSE CANDY BARS FOR SCHOOL.
10:42 - 10:46
IS THERE ANY WAY YOU CAN EAT YOUR WAY OUT OF THIS?
10:46 - 10:47
I'M AFRAID NOT, BOBBY.
10:47 - 10:49
I NEED TO GET THOSE SAMPLES BACK.
10:58 - 11:01
EXCUSE ME, THE GATE ISN'T WORKING.
11:01 - 11:03
WE HAD TO CHANGE ALL THE CODES.
11:03 - 11:05
SOME SALESLADY WAS HARASSING PEOPLE.
11:05 - 11:06
I SEE.
11:06 - 11:08
YOU KNOW WHAT THAT GUARD SHACK NEEDS?
11:09 - 11:10
A PANINI MAKER.
11:11 - 11:13
PLEASE EXIT THE HEIGHTS.
11:13 - 11:14
(HORNS HONKING)
11:26 - 11:27
WHAT'S ALL THIS?
11:28 - 11:29
NEXT MONTH'S PRODUCT.
11:29 - 11:30
YOUR GARAGE WAS LOCKED.
11:30 - 11:32
I HOPE YOU DON'T MIND, WE USED A CROW BAR.
11:32 - 11:35
BUT I HAVEN'T SOLD THIS MONTH'S PRODUCT YET.
11:35 - 11:36
IF I WERE YOU,
11:36 - 11:37
I'D QUIT ARGUING AND START SELLING...
11:39 - 11:41
BECAUSE COZY KITCHEN IS GOING TO GET THEIR MONEY
11:41 - 11:42
ONE WAY OR THE OTHER.
11:42 - 11:44
(ENGINE CRANKING)
11:44 - 11:46
LOVE YOUR ROSES!
11:52 - 11:54
OH, HEY, SUG. WHAT'S UP?
11:54 - 11:56
I CAME OVER TO APOLOGIZE.
11:56 - 12:00
I HAVE BEEN SO BUSY SELLING COZY KITCHEN TO ARLEN HEIGHTS,
12:00 - 12:02
I'VE COMPLETELY IGNORED MY FRIENDS.
12:02 - 12:03
HERE.
12:03 - 12:05
JUST CIRCLE WHAT YOU WANT.
12:07 - 12:09
OKAY, UM...
12:09 - 12:11
OH!
12:12 - 12:13
I'LL TAKE ONE OF THESE.
12:13 - 12:15
A VEGETABLE PEELER?
12:15 - 12:18
A $12 VEGETABLE PEELER?!
12:19 - 12:20
WELL, I DON'T NEED ANYTHING ELSE.
12:20 - 12:22
WHO CARES?! HOW ABOUT A JUICER?
12:22 - 12:23
A CREPE PAN?
12:23 - 12:25
HELP ME OUT. I'M DYING HERE!
12:25 - 12:26
YOU'RE HURTIN' ME, SUG.
12:26 - 12:27
(CAR DOOR SHUTS)
12:54 - 12:55
(THUMP)
12:55 - 12:56
PEGGY?
12:57 - 12:58
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
12:58 - 13:00
I TRIED CALLING, BUT YOU DIDN'T ANSWER.
13:00 - 13:03
COZY KITCHEN IS NOT GOING SO WELL.
13:03 - 13:05
BUT IT'S OKAY, I HAVE THE PERFECT SOLUTION:
13:05 - 13:07
LET'S GET THIS HOUSE ON THE MARKET, HUH?
13:07 - 13:09
ABOUT THE HOUSE, PEGGY-
13:09 - 13:11
IT'S JUST, A...
13:11 - 13:12
A BAD TIME OF YEAR FOR US...
13:12 - 13:14
AND, UH...
13:14 - 13:16
OH, FOR GOODNESS SAKE, CINDY, LOOK AT HER. JUST TELL HER.
13:16 - 13:20
YOU'RE NOT PLANNING TO SELL THE HOUSE, ARE YOU?
13:20 - 13:21
NO.
13:21 - 13:23
I'M SORRY.
13:23 - 13:25
I HAD TO GET OUT OF MY CONTRACT AND THE ONLY WAY
13:25 - 13:27
WAS TO FIND A REPLACEMENT.
13:27 - 13:29
WE DID WHAT WE HAD TO DO.
13:29 - 13:31
WE TRIED TO DISAPPEAR FROM THE FACE OF THE EARTH
13:31 - 13:32
BY HOLING UP AT OUR BEACH HOUSE.
13:32 - 13:33
IT'S ON AN ISLAND!
13:34 - 13:35
THEY STILL FOUND US.
13:35 - 13:36
THEY HAVE MOTORBOATS, PEGGY!
13:37 - 13:38
MOTORBOATS.
13:39 - 13:40
CINDY: YOU HAVE NO IDEA
13:40 - 13:41
WHAT COZY KITCHEN IS CAPABLE OF.
13:42 - 13:43
IF YOU WANT OUT,
13:43 - 13:44
YOU HAVE TO FIND A BETTER WAY
13:44 - 13:45
TO DISAPPEAR THAN WE DID.
13:45 - 13:47
OR FIND YOUR OWN PATSY.
13:49 - 13:52
LUANNE: I'M GOING TO BE A COZY KITCHEN REPRESENTATIVE.
13:52 - 13:54
OH, THANK YOU, AUNT PEGGY.
13:54 - 13:56
I'M GONNA WEAR PINK,
13:56 - 13:57
AND LEARN TO COOK AND...
13:57 - 14:00
AND, OH, GOD, OH, GOD, I CAN'T BELIEVE
14:00 - 14:02
I HAVE THIS GREAT JOB!
14:02 - 14:03
YOU HEAR THAT, BABY?
14:03 - 14:04
WE'RE GONNA BE OKAY!
14:04 - 14:05
STOP!
14:06 - 14:07
I CANNOT LET YOU DO THIS.
14:07 - 14:10
BUT YOU PROMISED.
14:10 - 14:11
I - I'M SORRY, LUANNE.
14:11 - 14:13
IT'S A SCAM.
14:13 - 14:16
I WANT TO SELL COZY KITCHEN!
14:20 - 14:22
COME ON.
14:22 - 14:24
ONE MORE LEPRECHAUN.
14:24 - 14:25
DAMMIT.
14:25 - 14:27
(DOORBELL RINGS)
14:33 - 14:35
(TELEPHONE RINGS)
14:48 - 14:49
DALE: OW!
14:49 - 14:51
SHH!
14:56 - 14:57
(WHISPERING): WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
14:57 - 14:58
HIDING.
14:58 - 15:00
AND YOU'RE BLOWING MY COVER!
15:00 - 15:01
THIS IS MY HEDGE.
15:01 - 15:02
GO FIND YOUR OWN.
15:02 - 15:03
I WAS HERE FIRST.
15:04 - 15:05
AND HANK DEEDED THIS HEDGE TO ME.
15:05 - 15:07
HE DIDN'T WANT YOU TO GET IT IN THE DIVORCE.
15:07 - 15:08
SHH!
15:21 - 15:22
DALE?
15:22 - 15:22
WHO ARE YOU...
15:23 - 15:23
STIFLE, WOMAN.
15:24 - 15:26
I THINK I HEAR SHACKLEFORD'S CAR.
15:30 - 15:31
WHO'S SHACKLEFORD?
15:31 - 15:33
THE MAN WHOSE IDENTITY I STOLE.
15:33 - 15:34
WHO ARE YOU HIDING FROM?
15:34 - 15:35
COZY KITCHEN.
15:35 - 15:37
THE PEOPLE WHO MADE OUR VEGETABLE PEELER?
15:37 - 15:38
THAT THING'S GREAT!
15:44 - 15:47
ALL I WANTED WAS TO SELL A BIG HOUSE,
15:47 - 15:49
GET TO SIT AT CHRIS'S LITTLE TABLE
15:49 - 15:51
AND GET SOME RESPECT.
15:51 - 15:53
ALL I WANTED WAS A FALL GUY,
15:53 - 15:55
SO I'D NEVER HAVE TO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY
15:55 - 15:56
FOR MY ACTIONS.
15:56 - 15:58
THEY'RE DESTROYING MY REALTY CAREER.
15:59 - 16:00
THEY'RE THREATENING TO TAKE EVERYTHING,
16:00 - 16:02
AND I CAN'T TELL HANK ABOUT IT.
16:02 - 16:03
I DON'T KNOW WHERE TO TURN.
16:03 - 16:04
ME NEITHER.
16:04 - 16:06
THERE'S NO ESCAPE!
16:06 - 16:08
MAYBE IF I KILLED MYSELF HE'D LEAVE ME ALONE.
16:08 - 16:10
WHILE YOU'RE AT IT, TAKE ME OUT, TOO.
16:10 - 16:14
PEGGY, IT WOULD BE MY PLEASURE.
16:14 - 16:16
A MURDER/SUICIDE PACT.
16:16 - 16:17
THAT MIGHT WORK.
16:17 - 16:20
IF SHACKLEFORD AND COZY KITCHEN THINK WE'RE DEAD,
16:20 - 16:22
THEY'LL STOP LOOKING FOR US.
16:22 - 16:24
LET'S DO IT.
16:24 - 16:25
I'LL PRETEND TO KILL YOU
16:25 - 16:27
AND THEN PRETEND TO TAKE MY OWN LIFE.
16:27 - 16:28
PRETEND?
16:29 - 16:30
AH, WELL, I GUESS I'M STILL IN.
16:33 - 16:35
OKAY, HERE'S THE STORY.
16:35 - 16:36
WE STOLE BILL'S CAR.
16:37 - 16:38
THAT PART'S TRUE.
16:38 - 16:39
THEN WE DROVE IT INTO THE RAVINE.
16:40 - 16:41
AND YOU THINK THAT'S REALLY GOING
16:41 - 16:42
TO CONVINCE PEOPLE WE'RE DEAD?
16:42 - 16:44
HOW HARD CAN IT BE?
16:44 - 16:45
SHACKLEFORD CONVINCED ME HE WAS DEAD
16:45 - 16:46
IN THE THIRD GRADE.
16:53 - 16:57
IT APPEARS BILL NEEDS TO HAVE HIS TIRES ALIGNED.
16:58 - 16:59
RUN!
17:04 - 17:05
HMM.
17:07 - 17:09
WELL, BILL'S GONNA NEED A NEW SEAT.
17:12 - 17:14
AFTER WE THROW THE DUMMIES INTO THE WATER,
17:14 - 17:16
WE LEAVE A SUICIDE NOTE ON THE RAILING.
17:16 - 17:18
THE SWIFT CURRENT WILL TEAR THE DUMMIES APART,
17:19 - 17:21
AND THE COPS WON'T FIND A THING.
17:21 - 17:23
WELL, THEN WHY THROW THE DUMMIES IN THE FIRST PLACE?
17:23 - 17:24
WHO WOULD EVEN KNOW?
17:24 - 17:25
WE'D KNOW.
17:25 - 17:27
SHOW A LITTLE PRIDE, PEGGY.
17:27 - 17:28
(GARAGE DOOR OPENING)
17:30 - 17:32
OH, HANK. YOU'RE HOME EARLY.
17:32 - 17:34
HUH? NO, I'M NOT.
17:34 - 17:36
WHAT'S GOING ON WITH THOSE DUMMIES?
17:36 - 17:37
MAYBE THIS IS GOOD.
17:37 - 17:39
WE COULD USE A WITNESS TO OUR FAKE DEATHS.
17:39 - 17:40
TO YOUR WHAT?
17:40 - 17:42
DID I NOT MENTION THIS TO YOU?
17:44 - 17:46
HANK: WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING?
17:46 - 17:48
I WAS OUT OF OPTIONS, HANK.
17:48 - 17:51
I COULDN'T SELL A HOUSE TO COVER THE COST OF THE POTS AND PANS.
17:51 - 17:53
IF YOU HAVE ANY BETTER IDEAS
17:53 - 17:55
THAN MURDER-SUICIDE I WOULD LOVE TO HEAR THEM.
17:55 - 17:59
WELL, WHY DON'T YOU THROW ONE OF THOSE PARTIES LIKE CINDY DID?
17:59 - 18:00
YES! THAT'S GOOD!
18:01 - 18:03
THEN I COULD FIND A PATSY THAT I'M NOT RELATED TO!
18:03 - 18:05
NO! THEN YOU COULD AT LEAST PROVE
18:05 - 18:08
TO THIS JUDY WOMAN THAT YOU'RE TRYING YOUR BEST.
18:08 - 18:09
AND THEN JUDY COULD TELL CORPORATE
18:09 - 18:11
WHAT SHE SEES AT THE PARTY.
18:11 - 18:12
THIS COULD WORK, HANK.
18:17 - 18:17
JUDY,
18:18 - 18:20
I'M SO GLAD YOU COULD MAKE IT.
18:20 - 18:22
I PRESUME YOU HAVE A CHECK FOR ME.
18:22 - 18:24
WE'LL TALK AFTER MY PRESENTATION.
18:25 - 18:26
(DOORBELL RINGS)
18:27 - 18:28
DALE: COMING.
18:31 - 18:32
HA HA!
18:32 - 18:34
YOU'LL NEVER CATCH ME, SHACKLEFORD!
18:37 - 18:40
AND THANKS TO MY COZY KITCHEN NONSTICK FRYING PAN,
18:41 - 18:42
$49.99,
18:42 - 18:44
MY EGGS SLIDE ONTO THE PLATE.
18:44 - 18:45
(APPLAUSE)
18:46 - 18:47
HELP!
18:47 - 18:48
YOU GOTTA HIDE ME!
18:49 - 18:51
SHACKLEFORD IS ON HIS WAY.
18:51 - 18:52
DALE, IF YOU ARE NOT HERE
18:52 - 18:55
TO MAKE A PURCHASE, I MUST ASK YOU TO LEAVE.
18:55 - 18:58
AH, THEN I AM TAKING YOU AS MY HOSTAGE.
18:58 - 19:00
HA! NO!
19:00 - 19:02
OH, LORD.
19:02 - 19:03
AH! OH!
19:03 - 19:04
AHH! STOP IT!
19:04 - 19:05
LET GO!
19:06 - 19:07
NO! DALE!
19:11 - 19:14
THAT DOES IT, DALE, I WILL KILL YOU!
19:15 - 19:18
IF YOU KILL ME, I'M TAKING YOU WITH ME!
19:18 - 19:19
OH, NO YOU WON'T!
19:19 - 19:20
YEAH! (GRUNTING)
19:23 - 19:24
PEGGY: NO, STOP! SHA-SHAW!
19:35 - 19:37
WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON?
19:37 - 19:39
WE STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
19:39 - 19:41
ACT LIKE A GHOST.
19:47 - 19:48
WOW.
19:48 - 19:49
THIS PAN'S AMAZING.
19:50 - 19:51
I'M RIDDLED WITH TINY SHRAPNEL,
19:51 - 19:53
BUT IT DOESN'T HAVE A SCRATCH ON IT.
19:53 - 19:54
OOH. HMM.
19:55 - 19:56
I COULD MAKE ONE HELLUVA FLAPJACK
19:56 - 19:57
WITH THAT HONEY.
19:58 - 20:01
YEP, COZY KITCHEN MAKES A QUALITY PRODUCT,
20:01 - 20:02
I TELL YOU WHAT.
20:02 - 20:04
IF IT CAN SURVIVE AN EXPLOSION
20:04 - 20:06
IMAGINE HOW IT WILL STAND UP
20:06 - 20:08
TO THE DEMANDS OF THE MODERN KITCHEN.
20:08 - 20:10
I'LL TAKE ONE.
20:10 - 20:11
YEAH, LEMME HAVE ONE OF THOSE BAD BOYS.
20:11 - 20:14
YEAH, ME, TOO. DO THEY COME IN OTHER SIZES? IF I SELL
20:14 - 20:16
MY ENTIRE INVENTORY TODAY
20:16 - 20:18
WILL YOU PLEASE LET ME OUT OF MY CONTRACT?
20:18 - 20:20
NO.
20:20 - 20:21
I'M NEVER GETTING OUT, AM I?
20:21 - 20:23
THERE MIGHT BE ONE WAY.
20:24 - 20:27
IF CORPORATE THINKS I DIED IN THE EXPLOSION, TOO.
20:28 - 20:30
CONSIDER IT DONE.
20:31 - 20:33
WE NEED TO SETTLE THIS
20:33 - 20:35
WHOLE IDENTITY THEFT ISSUE ONCE AND FOR ALL.
20:35 - 20:37
OH, GOD, A GUN.
20:37 - 20:38
DIE LIKE A MAN, GRIBBLE.
20:38 - 20:40
DIE LIKE A MAN.
20:40 - 20:42
JUST SIGN THESE FORMS SO I CAN GET ON WITH MY LIFE.
20:48 - 20:49
OKAY.
20:50 - 20:51
YOU KNOW, JUDY,
20:52 - 20:54
YOU'RE GOING TO NEED TO DISAPPEAR FOR A WHILE.
20:54 - 20:56
I KNOW THE PERFECT HIDEAWAY,
20:56 - 20:58
A SUNNY TWO-BEDROOM IN ARLEN HEIGHTS.
20:58 - 20:59
REALLY?
20:59 - 21:01
MM-HMM. CALL ME.
21:01 - 21:03
WE'LL SET UP A TOUR.
21:09 - 21:12
THE VIEW REALLY IS BEAUTIFUL FROM UP HERE.
21:51 - 21:55
CINDY: THEY HAVE MOTORBOATS, PEGGY. TED: MOTORBOATS!
21:58 - 22:06