S07E12 - Vision Quest
0:02 - 0:05
0:05 - 0:10
0:32 - 0:36
WELL, YOU OBVIOUSLY ENJOYED THAT SANDWICH, JOHN REDCORN.
0:36 - 0:37
NOW LET ME TELL YOU
0:37 - 0:39
ABOUT A DIFFERENT KIND OF SANDWICH YOU MIGHT ENJOY.
0:39 - 0:42
AT STRICKLAND PROPANE, WE OFFER OUR CUSTOMERS
0:42 - 0:45
A SANDWICH OF EXCELLENT SERVICE.
0:45 - 0:46
THE MEAT...
0:46 - 0:49
HANK, I'M SURE YOUR PROPANE IS WONDERFUL,
0:49 - 0:51
BUT THE REASON I MET YOU FOR LUNCH
0:51 - 0:52
IS BECAUSE I'M WORRIED
0:52 - 0:54
ABOUT THE WAY DALE IS RAISING MY SON.
0:54 - 0:55
OKAY, EASY THERE.
0:55 - 0:57
JOSEPH IS DALE'S SON,
0:57 - 0:59
AND YOU HAVE NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT.
0:59 - 1:01
JOSEPH'S A GOOD KID.
1:01 - 1:02
HECK, HE'S BOBBY'S BEST FRIEND.
1:02 - 1:04
I SAW HIM UNSCREWING SALT SHAKERTOPS
1:04 - 1:05
AT THE FOOD COURT.
1:05 - 1:07
HE RUINED AN OLD MAN'S TACO SALAD.
1:07 - 1:09
WELL, YOU KNOW HOW BOYS ARE.
1:09 - 1:12
YES, BUT THERE COMES A TIME IN EVERY BOY'S LIFE
1:12 - 1:15
WHEN HE MUST DECIDE TO BE GOOD OR BAD.
1:15 - 1:20
AND A BIG STRONG BOY LIKE JOSEPH CAN BE VERY GOOD, OR VERY BAD.
1:20 - 1:22
HE NEEDS A VISION QUEST TO GUIDE HIM.
1:22 - 1:23
VISION QUEST?
1:23 - 1:25
ALL CULTURES HAVE A SIMILAR RITE OF PASSAGE.
1:26 - 1:27
YOUR PEOPLE HAVE A BAR MITZVAH.
1:28 - 1:29
UH, WE'RE NOT JEWISH.
1:29 - 1:30
REALLY?
1:30 - 1:32
LOOK, IF JOSEPH NEEDS SOMETHING,
1:32 - 1:36
DALE'S HIS FATHER, AND HE'S GOING TO TAKE CARE OF IT.
1:38 - 1:39
COME ON, GUESS.
1:39 - 1:42
BEAR OR RACCOON?
1:42 - 1:44
I DON'T KNOW. BEAR?
1:44 - 1:46
HA! TRICK QUESTION.
1:46 - 1:48
NO ONE KNOWS IF THE GIANT PANDA
1:48 - 1:52
IS REALLY A MEMBER OF THE BEAR OR RACCOON FAMILY.
1:52 - 1:54
TOMORROW IS GOING TO BE THE COOLEST FIELD TRIP EVER.
1:54 - 1:56
COOLER THAN THE SCIENCE MUSEUM
1:56 - 1:58
WHEN MISS COOPER'S SHIRT FELL OPEN?
1:58 - 2:00
IS THAT WHAT ALL THE LAUGHTER WAS?
2:00 - 2:02
I WAS IN THE GIANT EAR.
2:02 - 2:03
UH-OH.
2:04 - 2:07
STEVE, JAKE AND DAVE.
2:12 - 2:14
HEY, GRIBBLE AND TUBBY.
2:14 - 2:16
GET YOUR BUTTS OVER HERE. NOW!
2:16 - 2:21
HEY, WOULD ANYBODY RECOGNIZE GANGRENE IF THEY SAW IT?
2:21 - 2:23
HEY, BOBBY, WHERE'S JOSEPH?
2:23 - 2:25
STUPID JOSEPH.
2:25 - 2:27
WHAT THE HECK WAS THAT ABOUT?
2:27 - 2:29
OH, IT'S A VERY DIFFICULT AGE.
2:29 - 2:30
YEAH, MAN, I TELL YOU WHAT.
2:30 - 2:32
YOU TALKING ABOUT ALL THEM RAGING HORMONES, MAN.
2:32 - 2:34
WANT TO BE A REBEL AND STILL A KID, MAN.
2:34 - 2:36
TALKING ABOUT WHO AM I, MAN?
2:36 - 2:37
( GLASS SHATTERING )
2:37 - 2:39
STEVE: OOPS.
2:43 - 2:45
WELL, WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT?
2:45 - 2:46
I DON'T KNOW.
2:46 - 2:48
BUT IF IT WAS A MIRROR, I'D KILL MYSELF.
2:48 - 2:50
( LAUGHING )
2:50 - 2:56
WHOA. THOSE WERE THE COOLEST KIDS I'VE EVER SEEN,
2:56 - 2:58
AND THEY APPEAR TO BE FRIENDS WITH MY SON.
2:58 - 3:00
DALE, DID YOU SEE WHAT THEY DID
3:00 - 3:01
TO BILL'S RECYCLABLES?
3:02 - 3:03
RUDE. RUDE BOYS.
3:03 - 3:05
PISH-TOSH. WHAT'S THE HARM?
3:05 - 3:06
THE HARM IS
3:06 - 3:08
A LITTLE SAYING THAT GOES
3:08 - 3:11
"ONE BAD APPLE SPOILS THE BUNCH."
3:11 - 3:13
WELL, LOOKS LIKE A WHOLE MESS OF BAD APPLES
3:13 - 3:14
JUST GOT DUMPED ON OUR KIDS.
3:14 - 3:16
YOU KNOW WHO'D BE A GOOD INFLUENCE?
3:17 - 3:19
MY SON, TREY.
3:19 - 3:22
LAST WEEK IT WAS TRAVIS.
3:23 - 3:23
SO?
3:24 - 3:27
YOU'RE CUTTING THE FIELD TRIP?
3:27 - 3:32
YOU'RE GOING TO GET IN THE HUGEST TROUBLE IN THE WORLD.
3:35 - 3:39
GIVE YOUR LITTLE PANDAS A SHOUT-OUT FOR ME.
3:40 - 3:42
HANK: MAYBE REDCORN WAS RIGHT .
3:42 - 3:44
JOSEPH'S FALLING IN WITH THE WRONG CROWD,
3:44 - 3:47
AND EVERY GROUP OF BAD KIDS
3:47 - 3:49
NEEDS A HEAVY BOY TO BE THE LOOKOUT.
3:49 - 3:50
AND BOBBY IS SO IMPRESSIONABLE.
3:50 - 3:53
I HOPE HE HAS THE STRENGTH TO STAND UP TO HIM.
3:53 - 3:54
MOM, DAD, I JUST SAW
3:54 - 3:56
THE MOST INCREDIBLE FABRIC SOFTENER AD.
3:57 - 3:59
IS THE SUPERMARKET STILL OPEN?
3:59 - 4:01
PEGGY, KEEP HIM HERE.
4:02 - 4:04
DID YOU KNOW THERE EXISTS A SOFTNESS
4:04 - 4:08
BEYOND ANY SOFTNESS YOU'VE EVER FELT BEFORE?
4:10 - 4:12
MAN ( ON PHONE ): FEDERAL RESERVE. HOW MAY I DIRECT YOUR CALL?
4:12 - 4:14
YOU DON'T KNOW ME,
4:14 - 4:15
BUT I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE UP TO.
4:15 - 4:19
NANCY: SORRY, DALE, DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE ON THE PHONE.
4:19 - 4:20
( GASPS )
4:20 - 4:23
DALE, I DON'T NORMALLY GO IN FOR THAT
4:23 - 4:25
"IT TAKES A VILLAGE" GARBAGE,
4:25 - 4:28
BUT YOU'VE GOT A SITUATION WITH YOUR JOSEPH
4:28 - 4:31
THAT I CAN'T HAVE SPILLING OVER ONTO MY BOBBY.
4:31 - 4:34
I KNOW, HANK, BUT WHAT CAN I DO?
4:34 - 4:35
YOU CAN TELL JOSEPH
4:35 - 4:38
HE'S NOT TO HANG AROUND THOSE KIDS ANYMORE.
4:39 - 4:40
I CAN'T DO THAT.
4:40 - 4:43
THIS IS HIS CHANCE TO BE COOL,
4:43 - 4:45
AND YOU ONLY GET ONE CHANCE, HANK.
4:45 - 4:47
I KNOW.
4:47 - 4:48
WHOA, THERE, GRIBBLE.
4:48 - 4:49
WHERE'S THE FIRE?
4:49 - 4:50
SAY, "IN YOUR WIFE'S PANTS."
4:50 - 4:51
SAY IT .
4:51 - 4:52
IN YOUR WIFE'S PANTS!
4:52 - 4:56
( ALL LAUGHING )
4:56 - 5:00
IN YOUR WIFE'S PANTS!
5:00 - 5:02
I WON'T DO IT.
5:02 - 5:04
THOSE KIDS LIKE JOSEPH, AND THEY'RE COOL.
5:05 - 5:05
THEY'RE REALLY COOL.
5:06 - 5:09
DANG IT, DALE, NO ONE LIKES BEING THE BAD GUY,
5:09 - 5:11
BUT SOMETIMES THAT'S PART OF BEING A DAD.
5:11 - 5:13
I DON'T WANT TO BE A DAD.
5:13 - 5:14
IT'S TOO HARD.
5:14 - 5:16
DALE, YOU CAN'T JUST IGNORE...
5:16 - 5:18
YES? THIS IS DALE.
5:18 - 5:20
DALE, THE PHONE DIDN'T EVEN RING.
5:20 - 5:22
HOW GOOD OF YOU TO RETURN MY CALL.
5:22 - 5:24
SORRY, HANK, THIS WILL HAVE TO WAIT.
5:24 - 5:26
REDCORN: THANK YOU FOR RECONSIDERING
5:26 - 5:27
A VISION QUEST, HANK.
5:27 - 5:29
YOU THINK IT'LL FIX JOSEPH?
5:29 - 5:30
IT FIXED ME.
5:30 - 5:32
THERE AREN'T TOO MANY FORMER ROADIES
5:32 - 5:34
WHO OWN THEIR OWN HEALING CENTERS.
5:34 - 5:36
SO, HOW DOES ONE OF THESE THINGS WORK?
5:36 - 5:38
THINK OF A VISION QUEST AS A PURIFICATION PROCESS
5:38 - 5:40
TO READY THE BODY AND MIND TO RECEIVE WISDOM .
5:40 - 5:41
( INDIAN FLUTE PLAYS )
5:41 - 5:45
ONE PREPARES FOR A VISION BY FASTING FOR 24 HOURS ...
5:45 - 5:47
NO FOOD, NO WATER, NOTHING .
5:47 - 5:49
THEN, ONE MUST PUSH THE BODY
5:49 - 5:51
TO A POINT OF PHYSICAL EXHAUSTION .
5:51 - 5:52
TO ACHIEVE THIS,
5:52 - 5:55
THE SEEKER WILL OFTEN WANDER THE WILDERNESS FOR MANY HOURS
5:55 - 5:56
UNTIL HE COLLAPSES .
5:56 - 5:57
HANK: GOT IT .
5:58 - 5:59
NO EATING OR DRINKING.
5:59 - 6:01
LOTS OF HIKING, THEN HE'LL SEE SOMETHING
6:01 - 6:03
THAT'LL MAKE HIM OKAY?
6:03 - 6:05
HOPEFULLY.
6:05 - 6:07
IN MY VISION,
6:07 - 6:09
I SAW A MAJESTIC TREE BLOWING IN THE WIND .
6:09 - 6:11
BUT THE TREE HAD NO ROOTS,
6:11 - 6:14
AND WAS LIFTED UP AND BLOWN AWAY .
6:14 - 6:19
( PLAYING HARD ROCK MUSIC )
6:19 - 6:20
HEY, REDCORN! GREEN TUBE-TOP, ROW FOUR!
6:20 - 6:23
I KNEW THEN THAT THE TRIBAL ELDERS
6:23 - 6:25
HAD INTERPRETED MY VISION CORRECTLY,
6:25 - 6:27
AND THAT WRANGLING GROUPIES FOR WINGER
6:27 - 6:29
WAS NO WAY TO LIVE MY LIFE .
6:29 - 6:32
SO, I WAS THINKING I WOULD TAKE HIM
6:32 - 6:34
TO LAKE BUCHANAN ON THURSDAY.
6:34 - 6:36
YEAH, UH, I'M NOT SURE
6:36 - 6:37
HOW WELL THAT'S GOING TO WORK
6:37 - 6:39
WITH THE WHOLE, UH, KEEPING DALE
6:39 - 6:41
FROM KNOWING ABOUT YOUR, UH...
6:42 - 6:44
HAND IN JOSEPH'S CREATION.
6:44 - 6:46
BUT, HANK, IT'S REALLY IMPORTANT THAT JOSEPH'S VISION
6:46 - 6:48
BE INTERPRETED CORRECTLY IF IT IS TO GUIDE HIM
6:48 - 6:50
TO THE PROPER LIFE-PATH.
6:50 - 6:51
WELL, THEN, I GUESS
6:51 - 6:53
I'LL BRING DALE AND THE BOYS CAMPING.
6:53 - 6:57
JOSEPH WILL HAVE A VISION; I'LL REPORT BACK WITH THE DREAM,
6:57 - 7:01
AND YOU'LL FILL ME IN ON THE SACRED WISDOM AND WHATNOT.
7:01 - 7:03
IT IS A FAIR COMPROMISE.
7:03 - 7:06
BUT, HANK, THIS IS AN IMPORTANT RITUAL AMONG MY PEOPLE.
7:06 - 7:07
DON'T HALF-ASS IT.
7:07 - 7:10
HEY, I NEVER TOLD YOU
7:10 - 7:14
WHAT A GREAT TIME YOU MISSED AT THE PANDAS.
7:14 - 7:16
WE GOT TO EAT BAMBOO.
7:17 - 7:19
THEN CLARK PETERS MADE A BUTT-CRACK
7:19 - 7:20
OUT OF HIS STOMACH FAT,
7:20 - 7:23
AND A PANDA TOTALLY LOOKED RIGHT AT HIM.
7:23 - 7:24
HIL-ARIOUS!
7:24 - 7:27
PLUS, I GOT THIS.
7:28 - 7:29
HER NAME IS PANG-NI,
7:29 - 7:30
AND WHEN I BOUGHT HER,
7:30 - 7:34
SHE WAS FILLED WITH CHINESE ENERGY DRINK.
7:42 - 7:45
YOU KNOW, JOSEPH, UH, AND, BOBBY, AND, DALE,
7:45 - 7:47
WHILE WE'RE HERE, IT'S IMPORTANT
7:47 - 7:49
TO LISTEN TO WHAT THE LAND IS TELLING US.
7:49 - 7:53
YEP. YOU KNOW, THIS LAND ONCE BELONGED TO THE CADDO TRIBE?
7:53 - 7:56
AND THE STORY GOES THAT THEY ONCE OFFENDED THEIR SPIRITS...
7:56 - 7:58
HEY, SPEAKING OF THE RED MAN.
7:58 - 7:59
IT'S JOHN REDCORN.
7:59 - 8:03
HEY, WHAT A CO-INKY-DINK.
8:03 - 8:05
ALL OF US CAMPING HERE, PRETTY FUNNY.
8:05 - 8:06
HUH.
8:06 - 8:08
OH, YOU MEAN, FUNNY-WEIRD.
8:08 - 8:10
THAT IS ODD.
8:11 - 8:12
WELL, I WON'T KEEP YOU.
8:12 - 8:13
BUT, HEY, REMEMBER TO LISTEN
8:13 - 8:15
TO WHAT THE LAND IS TELLING YOU.
8:15 - 8:16
ESPECIALLY JOSEPH.
8:16 - 8:20
I DON'T THINK I'VE EVER BEEN HUNGRIER.
8:21 - 8:22
YEAH, I NEVER THOUGHT
8:22 - 8:23
I COULD GO THIS FAR WITHOUT FOOD,
8:24 - 8:25
BUT WE'RE DOING IT, RIGHT, DAD?
8:25 - 8:27
GIVE US SOME FOOD, HANK!
8:27 - 8:32
I'M STARVING.
8:32 - 8:33
OH, BLAST IT.
8:33 - 8:35
I THINK I LEFT THE FOOD BACK IN THE VAN.
8:35 - 8:36
BLAST IT.
8:36 - 8:43
( DALE AND BOBBY GROAN )
8:43 - 8:48
( DALE GASPING )
8:48 - 8:52
COULD YOU HAVE PICKED A SITE FARTHER AWAY, HANK?
8:52 - 8:53
YEAH, WHAT WAS I THINKING?
8:53 - 8:56
YOUR PROBLEM IS, YOU NEVER THINK ABOUT ANYTHING.
8:56 - 9:02
( COUGHING AND WHEEZING )
9:08 - 9:10
LOOK ALIVE, BOY.
9:10 - 9:12
WHY CAN'T WE JUST GO TO SLEEP?
9:12 - 9:14
BEARS.
9:14 - 9:16
HEY, MAYBE DALE, BOBBY AND I SHOULD GO GET SOME MORE WOOD.
9:16 - 9:18
JOSEPH, YOU STAY HERE.
9:18 - 9:21
THE ONLY THING KEEPING YOU SAFE FROM BEARS IS THIS FIRE,
9:21 - 9:24
SO DON'T FALL ASLEEP AND LET IT GO OUT.
9:24 - 9:25
WHATEVER.
9:25 - 9:27
DALE: I DON'T WANT TO WALK ANYMORE!
9:27 - 9:30
HOW COME HE GETS TO STAY?
9:30 - 9:31
( WHEEZING )
9:31 - 9:33
THERE'S WOOD.
9:33 - 9:37
WE'RE PASSING ALL KINDS OF WOOD.
9:37 - 9:42
WOOD, WOOD, WOOD, WOOD, WOOD, WOOD.
9:42 - 9:43
WOOD .
9:43 - 9:46
THAT'S A WEIRD WORD.
9:46 - 9:47
WOOD... WOOD.
9:47 - 9:49
WEIRD... WORD.
9:49 - 9:51
WEIRD... WOOD .
9:51 - 9:53
YEAH, MAYBE THIS IS FAR ENOUGH.
9:53 - 9:55
ALL RIGHT, WHO WANTS A CANDY BAR?
9:55 - 9:57
OH, THANK GOD. I'M STARVING.
9:57 - 9:58
DALE?
9:58 - 9:59
WOOD... WOOD, WOOD.
9:59 - 10:01
WOOD, WOOD, WOOD .
10:01 - 10:02
WOOD!
10:02 - 10:03
WOOD.
10:03 - 10:07
( INDIAN FLUTE & TAMBOURINE PLAYING )
10:07 - 10:10
OH, MY GOD, DALE, ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?
10:10 - 10:12
I SEE THE BUFFALO!
10:12 - 10:19
I SEE THE INDIAN!
10:19 - 10:20
I... AM ... THE INDIAN.
10:20 - 10:22
OH, DANG IT.
10:22 - 10:24
DAD, WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU?
10:24 - 10:25
DAD?
10:25 - 10:28
BOBBY: YOUR DAD'S NOT COMING.
10:28 - 10:31
HE'S ROLLING AROUND ON THE GROUND AND EATING BARK,
10:31 - 10:33
AND MY DAD'S SAYING "DANG IT" A LOT.
10:33 - 10:37
THIS TRIP IS SO... SUCKS!
10:37 - 10:39
YOU KNOW WHAT THE LAND'S TELLING ME?
10:39 - 10:40
WRECK STUFF!
10:40 - 10:42
( GASPS )
10:42 - 10:44
THAT'S YOUR DAD'S SLEEPING BAG!
10:44 - 10:45
( JOSEPH LAUGHING )
10:45 - 10:49
LOOK AT IT BURN!
10:53 - 10:56
( GROWLS )
10:57 - 10:57
HEY, BOBBY,
10:58 - 11:00
I WANTED TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT JOSEPH.
11:00 - 11:04
LF, UH, IF JOSEPH'S PLANNING TO DO SOMETHING BAD
11:04 - 11:05
I WANT YOU TO TELL ME.
11:05 - 11:06
WAIT A SECOND.
11:07 - 11:09
YOU WANT ME TO BE A NARC.
11:09 - 11:10
BOBBY, SOMETIMES
11:10 - 11:12
NARCING IS GOOD.
11:12 - 11:14
YOU SEE THAT?
11:14 - 11:18
IF BOOMHAUER HADN'T CALLED ME AND NARCED ON BILL
11:18 - 11:20
I WOULDN'T HAVE KNOWN HE WAS IN TROUBLE.
11:20 - 11:21
RELAX!
11:21 - 11:22
DON'T STRUGGLE.
11:22 - 11:24
YOU'RE JUST MAKING THINGS WORSE.
11:24 - 11:25
DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO.
11:25 - 11:27
I'M GOING TO GO OUT THERE
11:27 - 11:29
AND TRY TO PRY THAT TIRE OFF BILL.
11:29 - 11:32
I'LL PROBABLY GET KICKED AND SCRATCHED IN THE PROCESS,
11:32 - 11:33
BUT THAT'S WHAT FRIENDS DO.
11:33 - 11:35
( KNOCK AT DOOR )
11:35 - 11:38
HELLO, MY BEAUTIFUL INDIAN BROTHER!
11:38 - 11:40
CAN I COME IN?
11:40 - 11:42
I GOT A VISION THAT NEEDS INTERPRETING.
11:42 - 11:43
( SIGHS )
11:43 - 11:44
SO I'VE HEARD.
11:44 - 11:46
PLEASE, DALE, THAT BELONGED TO MY FATHER.
11:46 - 11:48
YEAH, IT'S NICE.
11:48 - 11:50
WHAT'S THAT MADE OUT OF, RIGATONI?
11:50 - 11:52
BONES. EWW!
11:52 - 11:56
ANYWAY, TRY RUNNING THIS VISION THROUGH THE OLD NOGGIN.
11:56 - 11:57
THERE WAS AN INDIAN...
11:57 - 12:00
I COULDN'T SEE HIS FACE, BUT HE WAS A BIG GUY,
12:00 - 12:03
ABOUT YAY TALL AND YAY WIDE,
12:03 - 12:06
WEARING A MAGNIFICENT BUFFALO HEADDRESS,
12:06 - 12:09
AND HE WAS MAKING LOVE TO MY WIFE!
12:09 - 12:10
DALE, I'M NOT SURE L...
12:10 - 12:11
HOLD ON, THERE'S MORE.
12:11 - 12:14
I SUDDENLY FOUND MYSELF IN A HOSPITAL,
12:14 - 12:18
WATCHING NANCY GIVE BIRTH TO JOSEPH,
12:18 - 12:22
EXCEPT JOSEPH WAS WEARING THE EXACT SAME HEADDRESS
12:22 - 12:23
AS THE FACELESS INDIAN.
12:24 - 12:26
SO, WORKING BACKWARDS...
12:26 - 12:31
I FATHERED AN INDIAN CHILD, THEREFORE I AM AN INDIAN!
12:32 - 12:34
OKAY, THAT'S ONE INTERPRETATION.
12:34 - 12:36
SO, DO YOU HAVE A REGULAR PLACE
12:36 - 12:39
YOU BUY YOUR FEATHERS AND BONNETS AND SO FORTH?
12:39 - 12:40
( SIGHS )
12:40 - 12:41
IT'S A WEBSITE.
12:41 - 12:42
YEP.
12:42 - 12:43
YUP.
12:43 - 12:44
MM-HMM.
12:44 - 12:46
( WAR WHOOP )
12:46 - 12:49
WELL, I'M JUST GONNA COME RIGHT OUT AND SAY IT, DALE.
12:49 - 12:51
SOMETHING SEEMS DIFFERENT ABOUT YOU.
12:51 - 12:53
SOMETHING IS DIFFERENT, BILL.
12:53 - 12:54
I HAD A VISION.
12:54 - 12:56
I'M AN INDIAN NOW.
12:56 - 12:57
OH.
12:57 - 12:59
I ALWAYS WONDERED WHY I HATED
12:59 - 13:02
THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT AND LOVED TOBACCO WITH SUCH PASSIONS
13:02 - 13:04
BUT NOW IT ALL MAKES SENSE.
13:04 - 13:06
OKAY, TIME-OUT, SITTING JACKASS.
13:07 - 13:08
HAVE YOU LOOKED IN A MIRROR LATELY?
13:09 - 13:11
YOU ARE THE GODDANG WHITEST PERSON I'VE EVER SEEN.
13:11 - 13:14
I AM THE ALBINO BUFFALO!
13:14 - 13:17
DEAL WITH IT.
13:17 - 13:20
IS THIS YOUR LUNCH PERIOD, OR ARE YOU CUTTING?
13:20 - 13:22
'C-'CAUSE I'M DEFINITELY CUTTING.
13:22 - 13:24
WE'RE CUTTING AND MAKING PLANS.
13:24 - 13:25
TOMORROW NIGHT
13:25 - 13:26
WE ARE GOING TO SHOW
13:26 - 13:29
THOSE STUPID FAT-ASS PANDAS WHO'S BOSS.
13:29 - 13:30
WE'RE GONNA PAINT THEM!
13:30 - 13:33
YEAH, WE'RE GONNA PAINT OUR NAMES ALL OVER THEM.
13:33 - 13:34
( NERVOUS LAUGH )
13:34 - 13:36
BU-BUT THOSE PANDAS AREN'T GONNA JUST SIT AROUND
13:36 - 13:38
AND LET YOU PAINT THEM.
13:38 - 13:40
THAT'S WHY WE'RE GONNA DRUG 'EM.
13:40 - 13:42
WE GOT BAMBOO SOAKING IN NYQUIL.
13:46 - 13:49
HEY, JOSEPH, NICE SKELETONS.
13:49 - 13:51
KNIFE THROUGH THE EYE, HUH?
13:51 - 13:53
THAT'S PROBABLY WHAT KILLED HIM.
13:53 - 13:56
IF YOU'RE GONNA GIVE ME A HARD TIME, DO IT FAST, BOBBY,
13:56 - 13:58
'CAUSE I'M GETTING OUT OF HERE.
13:58 - 13:59
YOU'RE CUTTING AGAIN?
13:59 - 14:02
YOU KEEP IT UP, YOU'RE GONNA GET EXPELLED!
14:02 - 14:04
SO? STEVE'S OLDER BROTHER GOT EXPELLED.
14:04 - 14:07
NOW HE'S GOT HIS OWN BUSINESS FILLING VENDING MACHINES.
14:07 - 14:08
GETS ALL THE SNACKS HE WANTS.
14:08 - 14:12
HEY, HOW ABOUT WE GO DO SOMETHING REALLY BAD
14:12 - 14:13
AFTER SCHOOL TOGETHER?
14:14 - 14:19
WE COULD BUY A PANE OF GLASS AND BREAK IT. MY TREAT!
14:19 - 14:20
WOW. YOU'D DO THAT FOR ME?
14:20 - 14:25
MY DAD'S GOT A NEW EDGER WE CAN USE.
14:25 - 14:28
YOU KNOW, BOBBY, I HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO EAT ALL DAY,
14:28 - 14:30
AND I CAN'T SLEEP.
14:30 - 14:31
CAN I TELL YOU SOMETHING?
14:31 - 14:32
WHAT'S UP?
14:32 - 14:33
( SIGHS )
14:33 - 14:34
STEVE AND THOSE GUYS
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ARE PLANNING THIS BIG THING AT THE ZOO TONIGHT.
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WHAT?
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I SHOULDN'T HAVE SAID ANYTHING.
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YOU CAN'T TELL ANYONE!
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EVERYBODY, I'D LIKE YOU TO WELCOME A SPECIAL GUEST TODAY.
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A MAN FROM OUR LOCAL NATIVE AMERICAN COMMUNITY
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WHO TOOK TIME OUT OF HIS BUSY SCHEDULE
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TO SHARE A LITTLE SOMETHING ABOUT HIS HERITAGE.
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GOOD MORNING, CLASS!
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OR, AS MY PEOPLE SAY, "HOW!"
14:59 - 15:00
I CAN SEE YOUR DAD'S JUNK.
15:00 - 15:06
( LOW MUMBLING SOUNDS )
15:06 - 15:12
( INDIAN FLUTE MUSIC PLAYS )
15:12 - 15:13
DAD! DAD!!
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EVERYTHING ALL RIGHT, SON?
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I WAS JUST DOING SOME FARMING AND I THOUGHT I HEARD SOMETHING.
15:18 - 15:19
YOU'RE NOT CRAZY!
15:19 - 15:22
I JUST HAD ONE OF THOSE VISION THINGS YOU WERE TALKING ABOUT!
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MAYBE I SHOULD GO TALK TO MR. REDCORN LIKE YOU DID,
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FIND OUT WHAT IT MEANS.
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YOU DON'T NEED JOHN REDCORN.
15:28 - 15:31
AS AN INDIAN, I'M FULLY QUALIFIED TO INTERPRET DREAMS.
15:31 - 15:32
REALLY?
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IS THE WIND SACRED?
15:33 - 15:34
WELL...
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I WAS RUNNING WITH A HERD OF BUFFALO .
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BUT I DIDN'T RUN FAST ENOUGH, SO I GOT TRAMPLED .
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AND ONE OF THOSE PANDAS WAS STARING AT ME .
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DALE: THAT'S PRETTY WEIRD .
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WELL, I GUESS THE PANDA KIND OF MAKES SENSE.
15:49 - 15:52
THOSE GUYS, YOU KNOW, MY NEW FRIENDS?
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THEY WERE GONNA DO SOMETHING REAL BAD AT THE ZOO TONIGHT.
15:54 - 15:56
I KNOW WHAT THE DREAM MEANS.
15:56 - 16:00
THE DREAM MEANS: GO WITH THE HERD!
16:00 - 16:02
THOSE KIDS ARE YOUR DESTINY...
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THEY COULD BE YOUR ONE SHOT AT COOLNESS!
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SO I SHOULD TRY TO DO WHAT THEY'RE DOING
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EVEN IF I THINK IT'S BAD?
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YES. YES!
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NO. NO, YOU'RE NOT GONNA JUST RUN WITH THE HERD.
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THE DREAM MEANS YOU'VE GOT TO RUN FASTER
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AND BE EVEN COOLER THAN THEM.
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BUT THEY'RE GONNA PAINT THEIR NAMES ON THE PANDAS!
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I COULD NEVER BE COOLER THAN THEM.
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'COURSE YOU COULD... BY KILLING A PANDA!
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YEAH, BUT... ISN'T KILLING 'EM LIKE A CRIME?
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ABSOLUTELY, FOR A WHITE MAN, BUT WE'RE INDIANS.
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WE CAN KILL JUST ABOUT ANYTHING
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SO LONG AS WE USE ALL THE PARTS.
16:36 - 16:38
HEY, HOW'D YOU LIKE TO GO TO SCHOOL
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WEARING A PANDA HEAD AS A HAT?
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YEAH, THAT WOULD BE COOL.
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COME ON, GET DRESSED.
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WE'RE GOING TO THE ZOO.
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WHAT ARE YOU DOING, SUG?
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OH, I GET IT.
16:58 - 16:59
NO TIME FOR THAT, COWGIRL.
16:59 - 17:02
JOSEPH HAD A DREAM ABOUT GETTING TRAMPLED
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BY A BUFFALO HERD,
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SO WE'RE OFF TO DO SOMETHING SPECTACULAR
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TO MAKE SURE THE COOL KIDS LIKE HIM.
17:07 - 17:09
BAIL MONEY'S IN THE ARMOIRE JUST IN CASE. LOVE YOU!
17:09 - 17:16
NO, NO, NANCY, THE DREAM IS A WARNING.
17:16 - 17:19
DALE'S GOING TO RUIN JOSEPH'S LIFE!
17:19 - 17:22
I HAVE RELIED ON OTHERS TO RAISE MY SON FOR TOO LONG.
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NO OFFENSE, BUT IT ENDS NOW.
17:24 - 17:29
DALE: SHOOT, THE GATE'S LOCKED.
17:29 - 17:31
WHAT WAS THAT CHANT REDCORN TAUGHT ME?
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THE ONE I USED TO OPEN THE MUSTARD?
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( CHANTING ): * HAI-YA *
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♪ GREY POUPON, HEY-HOI... ♪
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DAD, WATCH OUT!
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THE GATE IS OPEN!
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THANK YOU, GATE SPIRIT.
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OH, MY GOD, THEY'RE ELOPING!
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NO, SUG.
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IT'S ABOUT JOSEPH.
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CAN WE COME IN?
17:52 - 17:55
500 YEARS OF OPPRESSION
17:55 - 17:58
AND SOMEHOW I FIND THIS THE MOST IRRITATING.
17:58 - 18:02
WE MUST FIND DALE AND JOSEPH BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE.
18:02 - 18:03
( SIGHS )
18:03 - 18:05
I THINK I KNOW WHERE THEY WENT.
18:05 - 18:09
IS IT NARCING IF I TELL PANG-NI AND YOU OVERHEAR IT?
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BINGO!
18:10 - 18:13
YOU CAN'T HIDE FROM AN INDIAN TRACKER.
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LET'S MOVE.
18:15 - 18:17
( GROANS )
18:17 - 18:19
JOSEPH'S NEVER GOING TO TALK TO ME AGAIN.
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YOU MADE A TOUGH CHOICE, BUT YOU MIGHT HAVE SAVED YOUR FRIEND.
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MY PEOPLE HAVE A SAYING: WHEN WE ASK FOR STRENGTH,
18:26 - 18:28
THE GREAT SPIRIT SENDS US DIFFICULTIES,
18:28 - 18:29
WHICH MAKE US STRONG.
18:29 - 18:30
THAT'S PRETTY COOL.
18:30 - 18:32
YOU LIKE THAT?
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HEY, PASS IT ON TO JOSEPH.
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YOU KNOW, IF YOU WANT.
18:35 - 18:37
EITHER WAY, IT'S NO BIGGIE TO ME.
18:44 - 18:45
DALE: JOSEPH?
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YEAH, DAD.
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YOU ARE GOING TO BE SO COOL!
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I KNOW!
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( WAR WHOOPS )
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COOL. SOME DUMBASS LEFT THE GATE OPEN.
18:54 - 18:55
( WAR WHOOPS )
18:55 - 18:59
WHOA, GRIBBLE'S GONNA SHOOT A PANDA!
18:59 - 19:01
MAN, HE KILLS A PANDA,
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HE'LL BE ABLE TO GET ANY CHICK HE WANTS.
19:04 - 19:09
JOSEPH, PUT THE BOW DOWN!
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PLEASE, SUG!
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IGNORE THE INTERLOPERS!
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FOCUS ON THE HUNT!
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ALL RIGHT, GRIBBLE! DO IT!
19:16 - 19:17
KILL THAT PANDA, MAN!
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LET ME GET YOU IN FRAME.
19:19 - 19:20
OKAY, KILL IT!
19:20 - 19:24
THE HERD IS PLEASED!
19:34 - 19:35
YOU HAVE TO MAKE A CHOICE, JOSEPH.
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SOMETIMES, A HERD CAN BE THE SAFEST PLACE THERE IS,
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BUT THE WRONG HERD CAN TRAMPLE YOU.
19:41 - 19:42
STEVE: KILL IT, GRIBBLE!
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KILL IT!
19:43 - 19:44
YOU HEARD HIM, KILL IT!
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IF I KILLED A PANDA AT YOUR AGE, WE'D BE LIVING
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IN THE GOVERNOR'S MANSION!
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WOW. WHOA.
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I DIDN'T MEAN TO SHOOT!
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IT WAS AN ACCIDENT!
19:56 - 19:58
HE WON'T CATCH A BULLET.
19:58 - 19:59
I'M NOT SHOOTING THE PANDA.
19:59 - 20:03
HMM. LIKE A LEAD BUFFALO, STRONG, INDEPENDENT...
20:03 - 20:05
THAT WILL BE YOUR PATH.
20:05 - 20:06
STEVE: HEY!
20:06 - 20:07
BORING!
20:07 - 20:10
ALL RIGHT, THERE ISN'T GONNA BE A PANDA-KILLING TONIGHT.
20:10 - 20:14
SO, GET HOME BEFORE I CALL THE COPS!
20:19 - 20:20
I THOUGHT HE WAS A COP.
20:21 - 20:25
I'M NOT GONNA LIE TO YOU, JOSEPH.
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IT SURE WOULD HAVE BEEN SWEET HAVING A COOL SON.
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( YELLING ): HEY!
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HEY, COOL KIDS, LOOK AT JOSEPH SMOKE! LOOK!
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NAH, THEY'RE GONE.
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YOU KNOW, DAD, SOMETIMES THE COOLEST THING TO DO IS
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MAKE YOUR OWN PATH AND NOT KILL A PANDA.
20:45 - 20:50
YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.
20:50 - 20:53
SORRY I NARCED ON YOU, JOSEPH.
20:53 - 20:55
YEAH, WELL, SORRY I WAS SUCH A TOOL.
20:55 - 20:57
( YAWNING )
20:57 - 20:58
( YAWNS )
20:58 - 21:02
DANG, I HARDLY SLEPT AT ALL LAST NIGHT.
21:02 - 21:04
THEN I HAD SO MUCH TROUBLE GETTING GOING THIS MORNING,
21:04 - 21:06
I MISSED BREAKFAST AND THE BUS.
21:12 - 21:15
CONTESTANT: I'M GONNA GO WITH BOBBY PANDA FOR THE WIN, TOM.
21:15 - 21:18
TOM BERGERON: BOBBY PANDA: A RECENT SURVEY FOUND
21:18 - 21:22
THAT THE MOST POPULAR THING AMERICANS LIKE TO DIP IN FONDUE
21:22 - 21:25
IS... WHAT?
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MY MOTHER-IN-LAW!
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( LAUGHTER )
21:29 - 21:31
( GROWLS )
21:33 - 21:37
22:10 - 22:14
DOOLEY: HEY WHAT A COINKI-DINK!