S04E18 - Won't You Pimai Neighbor
0:38 - 0:39
[SCREAMS]
0:39 - 0:41
DON'T COLD-CAN ME!
0:41 - 0:43
[LAUGHING]
0:43 - 0:45
HERE YOU GO. R.S.V.P. MEANS
0:45 - 0:47
RESPONDEZ-VOUS, S'IL VOUS PLAIT,
0:47 - 0:50
WHICH IN REDNECK MEANS, "PICK UP PHONE AND CALL
0:50 - 0:54
TO GIVE ME HEAD COUNT FOR BIG LAOTIAN NEW YEAR'S PARTY."
0:54 - 0:55
(HANK) NEW YEAR'S PARTY?
0:56 - 0:59
WE'RE NOT FALLING FOR A NEW YEAR'S PARTY IN APRIL, KAHN.
0:59 - 1:01
WE ARE NOT APRIL FOOLS.
1:02 - 1:04
YOU ARE DUMB AS CHIMPS.
1:04 - 1:05
LAOTIANS USE LUNAR CALENDAR,
1:05 - 1:07
SO OUR NEW YEAR COME IN APRIL.
1:08 - 1:09
IT'S CALLED PIMAI.
1:09 - 1:11
SO, WHEN DO YOU PAY YOUR TAXES? AUGUST?
1:12 - 1:14
OK. THIS REAL SIMPLE.
1:14 - 1:17
YOU ALL COME TO MY BIG PIMAI PARTY,
1:17 - 1:20
GET OUT OF YOUR STINKING PIGPENS FOR A NIGHT,
1:20 - 1:23
SEE WHAT IT'S LIKE TO LIVE IN A POTTERY BARN CATALOG.
1:25 - 1:26
[GRUNTS]
1:26 - 1:30
SO, KAHN'S PARTY IS FOR REAL.
1:30 - 1:32
I'M GONNA R.S.V.P. I'M NOT GOIN'.
1:32 - 1:33
NOPE.
1:33 - 1:37
JE REPONDS NON. ABSOLUMENT NON!
1:38 - 1:39
[SLURPING]
1:40 - 1:42
I'M GONNA MAKE A PIMAI RESOLUTION
1:42 - 1:44
TO KISS YOU EVERY DAY.
1:45 - 1:46
AND TO GET OUT MORE.
1:46 - 1:48
[GIGGLING]
1:48 - 1:49
(KAHN) KAHN JR.!
1:49 - 1:52
I HAD BETTER GO. IF MY DAD SEES US TOGETHER...
1:52 - 1:55
WELL, HE THINKS I'M COLLECTING SOIL SAMPLES.
1:55 - 1:58
YOUR DAD'S DAYS OF HATIN' ME ARE COMIN' TO A CLOSE.
1:59 - 2:01
WHO CAN HATE A KID WHO CAN CHARLESTON?
2:02 - 2:03
♪[HUMMING]
2:05 - 2:06
[LAUGHING] BYE.
2:06 - 2:08
HANK, WE ARE GOING TO THAT PARTY.
2:08 - 2:09
THEY ARE CONNIE'S PARENTS,
2:09 - 2:11
AND IT'S NOT LIKE THERE IS A STREAM OF GIRLS
2:12 - 2:13
LINING UP TO DATE BOBBY.
2:13 - 2:14
THERE IS ONE.
2:14 - 2:16
YEAH. USED TO BE NONE.
2:16 - 2:18
EXACTLY.
2:18 - 2:20
THAT IS WHY WE ARE GOING TO DO OUR PART,
2:20 - 2:23
AND PRETEND THAT WE LIKE KAHN AND MINH.
2:23 - 2:26
NOW, LET'S PRACTICE. I'LL BE KAHN.
2:26 - 2:27
[CLEARING THROAT]
2:27 - 2:29
YOU ARE A DUMB REDNECK!
2:29 - 2:30
THAT SOUNDS MORE LIKE MINH.
2:30 - 2:33
WELL, LEAVE MY WIFE OUT OF THIS, HILLBILLY!
2:33 - 2:34
[CHUCKLING]
2:34 - 2:36
I WISH THEY'D MOVE.
2:36 - 2:39
I'M NOT WEARING THAT TO THE PIMAI PARTY.
2:39 - 2:41
I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU BUY CLOTHES FOR ME ONLINE.
2:42 - 2:43
WASSANASONGS MIGHT COME.
2:43 - 2:46
CHANE WASSANASONG IS THE BIGGEST SHANK IN OUR CLASS.
2:46 - 2:48
THEY VERY IMPORTANT FAMILY.
2:48 - 2:51
TED WASSANASONG MEMBER OF 9 RIVERS COUNTRY CLUB.
2:51 - 2:53
(KAHN) HEY! HEY! HEY!
2:53 - 2:54
I JUST GET BIG CALL.
2:54 - 2:57
TED WASSANASONG?
2:57 - 2:59
YES. THEY'RE COMING TO OUR PARTY
2:59 - 3:02
AND TED SAYS THEY ARE BRINGING ALONG IMPORTANT MONKS.
3:02 - 3:03
BUDDHIST MONKS?
3:03 - 3:05
YEAH, YEAH, BUDDHIST, WHATEVER. MONKS.
3:05 - 3:06
I'LL GET SHRIMP!
3:07 - 3:08
YEAH, BIG SHRIMP!
3:08 - 3:11
THESE MONKS ARE LOOKING FOR REBORN SPIRIT OF SOME LAMA,
3:11 - 3:13
NAME OF LAMA SANGLUG.
3:13 - 3:16
LESSER-KNOWN LAMA, BUT STILL SPIRITUAL BIG SHOT, ANY WAY YOU SLICE IT.
3:17 - 3:19
THEY THINK HE REINCARNATED IN THIS AREA.
3:19 - 3:21
THEY LOOK ALL OVER MCMAYNERBURY,
3:21 - 3:23
TURN UP SQUAT.
3:23 - 3:26
TED SAYS ALL SIGNS POINT TO CHANE.
3:26 - 3:27
YOU HEAR THAT, CONNIE?
3:27 - 3:30
CHANE COULD BE A LAMA, A GREAT LEADER!
3:30 - 3:33
WHAT MAKES EVERYBODY SO SURE THAT CHANE IS THE LAMA?
3:33 - 3:37
HE'S 2ND OBOIST, RUNNER-UP IN WESTINGHOUSE SCIENCE CONTEST,
3:37 - 3:39
AND HE HAS TERRIFIC POSTURE.
3:39 - 3:41
I'M 1ST VIOLIN AND A WESTINGHOUSE WINNER.
3:42 - 3:44
HOW DO YOU KNOW I'M NOT THE LAMA?
3:44 - 3:46
[GASPING] CONNIE? A LAMA?
3:46 - 3:48
AW, THAT'D BE AMAZING!
3:49 - 3:51
FINALLY, STUFFED-UP JERK TED WASSANASONG
3:51 - 3:52
HAVE TO KISS MY ASS.
3:55 - 3:57
[PEOPLE CHATTERING]
4:02 - 4:03
[BIRDS CHIRPING]
4:12 - 4:13
[SLURPING]
4:13 - 4:14
HEY, HANK.
4:14 - 4:15
BILL.
4:15 - 4:16
HAPPY PIMAI!
4:17 - 4:18
[GROANS]
4:18 - 4:19
DAMN IT, BILL.
4:19 - 4:21
OH, HANK! IT'S A PIMAI CUSTOM.
4:21 - 4:22
I'M IN!
4:22 - 4:23
[GROANING]
4:24 - 4:25
[GRUNTING]
4:25 - 4:26
[SCREAMING]
4:30 - 4:33
OH, GENTLE CHRISTIAN NEIGHBOR,
4:33 - 4:35
AS YOU MIGHT HEAR FROM MY DAUGHTER, SANGLUG,
4:36 - 4:38
UH, I MEAN CONNIE.
4:38 - 4:40
WHERE'D THAT COME FROM?
4:40 - 4:44
THEY THROW WATER ON YOU TO WASH AWAY THE OLD YEAR,
4:44 - 4:46
AND BRING LUCK FOR THE NEW.
4:46 - 4:47
[BOTH GRUNTING]
4:48 - 4:50
CONNIE, CONNIE,
4:50 - 4:52
I SAW CHANE TRYING TO SUCK UP TO THE MONKS
4:52 - 4:54
BY WRAPPIN' UP A TO-GO PLATE.
4:54 - 4:56
HE IS SUCH A LOSER.
4:56 - 4:58
TALK TO THE JUNIOR MONK.
4:58 - 5:00
HE LIKES OCEANOGRAPHY.
5:01 - 5:04
AND WHO WENT TO OCEANOGRAPHY CAMP?
5:04 - 5:05
ME.
5:06 - 5:07
AND CHANE.
5:09 - 5:11
HEY, KAHN, I FOUND ONE OF YOUR HEINEKENS
5:12 - 5:15
SITTIN' IN THE BACK OF ONE OF THE CRISPER DRAWERS. CAN I HAVE IT?
5:15 - 5:16
[LAUGHING]
5:16 - 5:18
THAT NOT MY BEER.
5:19 - 5:21
I DON'T DRINK.
5:21 - 5:22
OH.
5:22 - 5:23
MINH SAID IT WAS YOURS.
5:23 - 5:24
TAKE IT.
5:26 - 5:28
OH, HE VILLAGE IDIOT,
5:28 - 5:30
AND IN THIS VILLAGE THAT REALLY SAYING SOMETHING.
5:30 - 5:34
AND YET CONNIE, MY DAUGHTER, STILL READ TO HIM.
5:35 - 5:37
GOOD LUCK TRYING TO BE A LAMA.
5:38 - 5:40
TSK. YOU DON'T HAVE TO TRY TO BE A LAMA,
5:40 - 5:42
YOU EITHER ARE OR YOU AREN'T.
5:42 - 5:43
AND I AM.
5:43 - 5:46
WHY WOULD A LAMA WANT TO COME BACK AS A 3RD OBOE?
5:46 - 5:47
2ND, CONNIE.
5:47 - 5:48
ANY WOODWIND.
5:50 - 5:52
...AND WHEN SHE LITTLE GIRL,
5:52 - 5:54
SHE NAME HER GOLDFISH LAMA SANGLUG.
5:54 - 5:56
[ALL EXCLAIMING]
5:56 - 6:00
WE WOULD LIKE TO LAY OUT SOME ARTIFACTS FOR YOUR DAUGHTER
6:00 - 6:03
AND THE WASSANASONG BOY TO OBSERVE.
6:03 - 6:06
IF EITHER CHILD IS THE REINCARNATED LAMA,
6:06 - 6:08
THEY WILL CHOOSE CORRECTLY.
6:08 - 6:11
OH, YEAH, THE TEST! I GO GET HER.
6:11 - 6:13
I NEED THE KEYS TO THE AEROSTAR.
6:16 - 6:19
HEY, A YARD SALE. HOW MUCH FOR THE BELL?
6:19 - 6:21
NO. THIS IS A TEST.
6:21 - 6:25
ONE OF THESE OBJECTS BELONGED TO OUR REVERED LAMA BEFORE HE DIED.
6:25 - 6:27
[CHANTING]
6:27 - 6:30
HIS REBORN SPIRIT WILL RECOGNIZE THE OBJECT
6:30 - 6:32
AND CHOOSE IT.
6:32 - 6:35
OH, LET ME TRY. HOW MUCH IS IT? DOLLAR A PLAY?
6:35 - 6:36
[GROANING]
6:40 - 6:43
OK, SON, YOU THE LAMA. YOU THE LAMA.
6:43 - 6:46
WATCH CLOSE. EVERY MONK HAS A TELL.
6:46 - 6:48
HURRY, HURRY. YOU GOTTA PICK BEFORE CHANE.
6:48 - 6:50
HUH.
6:50 - 6:51
HI, THERE.
6:51 - 6:55
IT'S GREAT TO SEE THE KIDS ENJOYING A GOOD OLD PI-PI...
6:55 - 6:57
MA... PONG PARTY.
6:57 - 6:58
UH...
6:58 - 7:00
OUT OF MY WAY, YOU REDNECK. IT'S TEST TIME.
7:00 - 7:03
HEY, PEGGY DOES DO A GOOD YOU!
7:05 - 7:07
UH-OH!
7:14 - 7:15
OH, NO.
7:16 - 7:17
I'LL STALL HIM.
7:18 - 7:20
HEY, CHANE! WHO WANTS TO MOVE WITH ME?
7:21 - 7:23
♪[HUMMING]
7:27 - 7:28
[CHANTING]
7:31 - 7:33
[EXCLAIMING]
7:33 - 7:34
BOBBY?
7:40 - 7:42
NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, PLEASE GET UP.
7:42 - 7:44
I'M JUST A WARM-UP ACT.
7:45 - 7:47
HERE'S CONNIE TO TAKE THE TEST.
7:47 - 7:49
BOBBY, YOU JUST TOOK THE TEST.
7:51 - 7:53
UH, NO, I DIDN'T.
7:53 - 7:56
UH, CONNIE, HERE'S YOUR CANE.
7:58 - 8:00
YOU HAVE SELECTED CORRECTLY.
8:00 - 8:03
THAT CANE BELONGED TO SANGLUG.
8:03 - 8:06
[CHANTING]
8:06 - 8:10
BOBBY, WE BELIEVE YOU ARE A VERY SPECIAL CHILD.
8:10 - 8:15
SANGLUG WAS ALSO JOYFUL AND GIVEN TO DANCE.
8:15 - 8:18
YOU COULD BE DESTINED TO BE A SPIRITUAL LEADER
8:18 - 8:21
AS THE REINCARNATION OF LAMA SANGLUG.
8:21 - 8:24
OK, SHOW'S OVER. WE'RE GOIN' HOME.
8:24 - 8:25
[SIGHS]
8:25 - 8:26
THIS IS ALL A BIG MISTAKE.
8:27 - 8:28
YOU DON'T WANT ME.
8:28 - 8:30
NO, BOBBY.
8:30 - 8:33
TODAY YOU PASSED A VERY IMPORTANT TEST.
8:33 - 8:37
OUR LEADER, THE RINPOCHE, WILL COME HERE NEXT SUNDAY
8:37 - 8:40
TO CONFIRM OUR FINDINGS.
8:40 - 8:41
[SIGHING] LOOK HERE,
8:41 - 8:45
I CAN'T STOP YOU FROM DOIN' WHAT YOU DO AT THE AIRPORTS,
8:45 - 8:49
BUT IN MY NEIGHBORHOOD YOU'LL STAY AWAY FROM MY SON.
8:49 - 8:51
THANKS A LOT, BOBBY.
8:51 - 8:53
UH, BUT I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING.
8:53 - 8:56
THAT GUY IN THE DRESS IS LOCO.
8:56 - 9:01
THAT GUY IS A MONK, AND THAT DRESS IS A ROBE,
9:01 - 9:03
AND MY RELIGION IS NOT A JOKE.
9:05 - 9:08
THEY ARE NOT TAKING THIS VERY WELL.
9:08 - 9:10
ONE OF US SHOULD STAY.
9:11 - 9:13
[WHISPERING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE]
9:15 - 9:17
WHAT?
9:17 - 9:20
WHAT? OH, COME ON!
9:20 - 9:22
I'M NOT SLEEPING IN THAT VAN ANOTHER NIGHT.
9:22 - 9:25
NO. WE ARE BLESSED TO BE IN A TOWN
9:25 - 9:28
WITH A MOST GENEROUS BUDDHIST FAMILY.
9:29 - 9:32
OH, GOOD. COMPANY.
9:32 - 9:34
BLOW UP THE AIR MATTRESS.
9:35 - 9:37
[LAUGHING]
9:37 - 9:40
OH, AND THEY THOUGHT IT WAS GONNA BE CONNIE.
9:40 - 9:44
WELL, I ALWAYS KNEW MY BOBBY WAS DESTINED FOR GREATNESS.
9:44 - 9:47
TO BE PERFECTLY HONEST, DIDN'T SEE LAMA.
9:47 - 9:51
[SIGHING] THE BUDDHISTS THINK BOBBY IS A HOLY MAN.
9:51 - 9:52
NOW THAT'S JUST SAD.
9:53 - 9:55
HANK, HANK, HANK, LISTEN TO THIS.
9:55 - 9:57
RICHARD GERE IS A BUDDHIST!
9:58 - 10:00
JUST KEEPS GETTIN' SADDER.
10:03 - 10:05
IS THIS WHAT YOU DRAGGED ME OUT HERE FOR?
10:05 - 10:08
SOFT-SERVE ICE CREAM AT THE STUDENT UNION?
10:08 - 10:10
THAT WAS AN UNSCHEDULED DETOUR.
10:13 - 10:16
THE CAMPUS BUDDHIST CLUB IS THE MAIN ATTRACTION.
10:17 - 10:19
DON'T TELL ANYONE I'M A LAMA.
10:19 - 10:21
I WANT TO BLEND IN.
10:25 - 10:27
THIS ACT SYMBOLIZES
10:27 - 10:29
WHEN THE BUDDHA LEFT HIS PALACE TO BECOME A MONK,
10:30 - 10:32
AND CUT OFF HIS LONG HAIR WITH A SWORD.
10:33 - 10:35
MY PARENTS DON'T GO TO THINGS LIKE THIS.
10:35 - 10:38
THERE'S NO ONE HERE THEY WANNA MEET.
10:38 - 10:40
[ALL CHANTING]
10:40 - 10:41
THANKS FOR BRINGING ME, BOBBY.
10:41 - 10:44
THANK YOU FOR THE ICE-CREAM CONE.
10:44 - 10:47
A REAL LAMA WOULDN'T BE THINKIN' OF SUPERCUTS JOKES
10:47 - 10:49
IN THE MIDDLE OF THE CEREMONY, RIGHT?
10:49 - 10:52
WELL, LAMA SANGLUG ALWAYS SAID THAT THE FUNNIEST JOKE
10:52 - 10:55
COMES FROM THE TEDIUM OF MEDITATION.
10:55 - 10:57
HE WAS A WONDERFULLY FUNNY MAN.
10:57 - 11:00
HE--HE OFTEN WORE HIS BEGGING BOWL LIKE A HAT.
11:00 - 11:03
I DO THAT WITH MY CEREAL BOWL!
11:03 - 11:04
BOBBY, THERE ARE SOME TEACHINGS
11:04 - 11:07
THAT I THINK MAY HELP YOU ON YOUR JOURNEY.
11:08 - 11:09
[EXCLAIMS]
11:09 - 11:10
COOL!
11:13 - 11:15
NO PICTURES?
11:17 - 11:18
MAYBE THIS WILL HELP.
11:22 - 11:24
[BOTH GRUNTING]
11:25 - 11:26
LET GO OF MY FINGER.
11:26 - 11:28
YOU LET GO OF MY BEER.
11:28 - 11:31
SO HELP ME, BILL, DON'T MESS WITH MY TRIGGER FINGER!
11:31 - 11:32
OH, YEAH? WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO?
11:32 - 11:34
SHOOT ME WITH MY BEER?
11:34 - 11:35
I DON'T THINK SO.
11:35 - 11:37
WHY ARE FRIENDS FIGHTING?
11:37 - 11:38
HE PUT HIS FINGER IN MY BEER.
11:39 - 11:40
HE DARED ME TO.
11:40 - 11:44
YOU FIGHT, BUT YOU BOTH HAVE THE SAME GOAL, RIGHT?
11:45 - 11:46
SO? SO?
11:46 - 11:47
MR. GRIBBLE,
11:47 - 11:51
I WANT YOU TO RELAX, AND IMAGINE YOUR FINGER
11:51 - 11:54
SLIDING RIGHT OUT OF MR. DAUTERIVE'S BEER.
11:54 - 11:57
THAT IS THE SINGLE MOST RIDICULOUS THING
11:57 - 11:58
I'VE EVER...
11:59 - 12:01
[EXCLAIMING]
12:04 - 12:06
CHANE WASSANASONG COULD NEVER HAVE DONE THAT.
12:07 - 12:09
AW, CHANE'S A GOOD GUY.
12:09 - 12:12
♪ TAKE ME OUT TO THE BALLGAME ♪
12:12 - 12:14
♪ TAKE ME OUT ♪
12:14 - 12:17
♪ BUY ME SOME CRACKERS AND APPLEJACKS ♪
12:18 - 12:19
[HANK EXCLAIMS]
12:20 - 12:21
[CHANTING]
12:23 - 12:27
NO WAY! NO GOD-DANG WAY!
12:28 - 12:32
DAD, I WAS THIS CLOSE TO ENLIGHTENMENT.
12:33 - 12:36
YOU CAN CALL PUTTING PAINT ON YOUR HEAD ANYTHING YOU WANT,
12:36 - 12:39
BUT WE'RE CHRISTIANS, AND WE DON'T DO THAT KIND OF STUFF.
12:39 - 12:42
WHY DO YOU THINK WE GO TO CHURCH EVERY SUNDAY? FOR FUN?
12:42 - 12:44
WELL, WHY DO WE GO?
12:44 - 12:45
BECAUSE WE'RE METHODIST.
12:46 - 12:48
YEAH, I'VE BEEN MEANIN' TO ASK YOU:
12:48 - 12:50
WHAT IS METHODISM, ANYWAY?
12:53 - 12:56
METHODISM IS A REJECTION OF CALVINISM.
12:56 - 12:58
OH. OH, YEAH.
12:58 - 13:00
SO, BOBBY, YOU HEARD HER.
13:00 - 13:02
YOU CAN'T BE A LAMA.
13:02 - 13:03
OOH!
13:04 - 13:06
YOU'RE THE BOY! CONGRATULATIONS.
13:06 - 13:08
N-NOW, HOLD ON.
13:08 - 13:10
W-WAIT, WE'RE SUPPOSED TO BE ON THE SAME TEAM HERE.
13:10 - 13:12
OF COURSE WE ARE.
13:12 - 13:14
BOBBY, DO YOU LOVE JESUS?
13:14 - 13:15
WITH ALL MY HEART.
13:16 - 13:17
BUDDHIST LIAR.
13:17 - 13:18
MR. HILL, I WOULD PREFER IT
13:18 - 13:20
IF BOBBY WERE SIMPLY A DEVOUT METHODIST,
13:21 - 13:22
BUT IF HE CAN USE THIS EXPERIENCE
13:22 - 13:24
TO CONNECT TO HIS SPIRITUALITY SINCERELY--
13:24 - 13:27
YEAH, YEAH, OK. WE'RE RUNNIN' LATE.
13:27 - 13:28
REVEREND, I'LL SEE YOU SUNDAY.
13:28 - 13:30
WE COULD ALWAYS USE AN EXTRA HEART
13:30 - 13:32
AT THE HOMELESS PRAYER SERVICE SATURDAY.
13:32 - 13:34
I'LL MENTION IT TO THE MISSUS.
13:35 - 13:37
(BOBBY) LISTEN TO THE WIND.
13:37 - 13:41
LET THE WIND TAKE THE WORLD AWAY.
13:41 - 13:43
WHAT DO YOU HEAR INSIDE, CONNIE?
13:43 - 13:45
I JUST HEAR MY DAD'S IGNORANCE
13:45 - 13:48
AND MY MOM'S EMPTY-HEADED MATERIALISM.
13:48 - 13:50
NO, WAIT. WAIT.
13:50 - 13:54
I HEAR MY DAD'S EMPTY-HEADED MATERIALISM, TOO,
13:54 - 13:55
AND THAT'S THE LOUDEST.
13:55 - 13:58
YOU EXPECT TOO MUCH OF THEM, CONNIE.
13:58 - 14:01
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO LET THINGS BE AS THEY ARE.
14:01 - 14:03
SO YOUR PARENTS DON'T LIKE ME.
14:03 - 14:04
[GRUNTS]
14:04 - 14:06
I'M CARRYIN' A FEW EXTRA POUNDS.
14:06 - 14:07
[GRUNTS]
14:07 - 14:10
EASY FOR YOU TO SAY. YOU'RE A LAMA.
14:10 - 14:11
[SHUSHING]
14:11 - 14:15
I'M TEACHING HERE. LISTEN WITH YOUR HEART.
14:15 - 14:16
THE BEATING OF IT
14:16 - 14:19
WILL DROWN OUT EVERYTHING ELSE.
14:19 - 14:23
ALL THAT'S LEFT WILL BE THE SOUND OF US.
14:23 - 14:25
KISS ME, SANGLUG.
14:32 - 14:36
"MY CHILD IS AN HONOR STUDENT AT WESTVIEW ELEMENTARY."
14:40 - 14:45
YEAH? WELL, MY CHILD IS GOD TO BILLIONS OF ASIANS!
14:45 - 14:46
[TIRES SCREECHING]
14:49 - 14:50
HEY, CONNIE.
14:51 - 14:53
I NOTICED THAT YOU COULDN'T STOP LOOKING OVER AT ME.
14:53 - 14:55
I KEPT HEARING FLATS.
14:55 - 14:56
I ASSUMED THEY WERE COMING FROM YOU.
14:56 - 14:59
NOW, COME ON, YOU TWO.
14:59 - 15:02
IF ONE OF YOU PLAYS FLATS AND THE OTHER PLAYS SHARPS,
15:02 - 15:04
WE WILL HAVE PERFECT HARMONY.
15:04 - 15:07
THAT DOESN'T EVEN MAKE SENSE, NITWIT.
15:07 - 15:09
SHUT UP. YOU'RE JUST JEALOUS
15:09 - 15:11
BECAUSE YOU WEREN'T CHOSEN AS LAMA.
15:11 - 15:13
I'M GLAD I'M NOT A LAMA.
15:13 - 15:16
THE CHANE TRAIN STOPS FOR THE LADIES.
15:16 - 15:18
WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?
15:18 - 15:20
LAMAS CAN'T HAVE WIVES.
15:20 - 15:22
THEY CAN'T EVEN HAVE GIRLFRIENDS.
15:24 - 15:26
IS THAT TRUE, BOBBY?
15:27 - 15:28
I-IT CAN'T BE.
15:28 - 15:32
I MEAN, HOW DO THEY GET NEW LAMAS IF THE LAMAS CAN'T...
15:32 - 15:34
OH, NO.
15:34 - 15:36
REINCARNATION.
15:38 - 15:39
[BOTH GASPING]
15:45 - 15:47
I GOT IT. I'M LEAVIN' THE BUDDHAHOOD.
15:48 - 15:50
BOBBY, I WON'T LET YOU.
15:50 - 15:52
I WANT TO BE WITH YOU, TOO,
15:52 - 15:54
BUT IT'S NOT OUR CHOICE.
15:54 - 15:56
IF YOU'RE SANGLUG, YOU'RE SANGLUG.
15:56 - 15:58
IT'S MEANT TO BE.
15:58 - 16:00
I CAN ALWAYS TANK THE TEST.
16:00 - 16:03
I'LL PICK A BELL. WHO OWNS A BELL?
16:03 - 16:05
WHAT IF IT IS THE BELL?
16:05 - 16:06
I'LL PICK ANOTHER CANE.
16:06 - 16:08
THEY WOULDN'T MAKE IT THE SAME THING TWICE.
16:08 - 16:10
BOBBY, DON'T MAKE THIS A GAME.
16:10 - 16:12
IF YOU DON'T TAKE THAT TEST TOMORROW,
16:12 - 16:16
I'M GONNA BE WONDERING FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE IF YOU'RE A LAMA.
16:16 - 16:17
AND IF YOU ARE,
16:17 - 16:20
I'LL BE DISRESPECTING BUDDHA EVERY DAY.
16:20 - 16:21
I CAN'T LIVE WITH THAT.
16:23 - 16:25
[SLURPING]
16:25 - 16:27
SO, HOW LONG YOU BEEN CELIBATE?
16:27 - 16:29
3 YEARS.
16:30 - 16:32
HMM. THE 4TH YEAR'S THE TOUGH ONE.
16:34 - 16:38
YOU. YOU GO TELL MY BOY HE'S NOT A LAMA. NOW.
16:38 - 16:41
I CAN'T TELL HIM THAT, BECAUSE IT'S NOT UP TO ME.
16:41 - 16:43
THERE'S A BUDDHIST SAYING:
16:43 - 16:46
"AS THE WHEEL FOLLOWS THE OX THAT DRAWS THE CART
16:46 - 16:49
THE WIND CANNOT OVERTURN A MOUNTAIN."
16:49 - 16:52
[SIGHING] YOU'RE TALKIN' LIKE A SONG FROM THE LION KING.
16:52 - 16:54
STOP THAT. IT MAKES NO SENSE.
16:54 - 16:56
OR DOES IT MAKE PERFECT SENSE?
16:56 - 16:57
WHAT THE...
16:58 - 16:59
SEE, THAT'S THE TYPE OF...
16:59 - 17:01
I'M GONNA KICK YOUR ASS.
17:01 - 17:03
IF MY ASS IS GOING TO BE KICKED,
17:03 - 17:05
THEN IT WILL BE KICKED.
17:05 - 17:06
WHAT...
17:06 - 17:08
[EXCLAIMS]
17:11 - 17:13
TO THE CELIBACY OF MONKS.
17:13 - 17:15
THE CELIBACY OF MONKS.
17:22 - 17:24
OH, THERE, THERE, KAHN JR.
17:24 - 17:25
WE KNOW HOW YOU MUST FEEL.
17:25 - 17:28
BUT REALLY, YOU JUST DODGED A CHUBBY WHITE BULLET.
17:35 - 17:36
[CHANTING]
17:41 - 17:42
[SIGHING]
17:42 - 17:45
I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE HECK I'M DOIN'.
17:45 - 17:49
LAMA SANGLUG, I MISS CONNIE SO MUCH.
17:49 - 17:53
WAIT, I'M LAMA SANGLUG.
17:53 - 17:56
WHAT SHOULD WE DO? GIVE US A SIGN.
17:56 - 17:59
[GHOSTLY VOICE] I AM THE GREAT LAMA SANGLUG.
17:59 - 18:01
AND YOU ARE NOT.
18:01 - 18:04
FORGET ABOUT THAT DANG BUDDHIST HOOEY.
18:04 - 18:06
I COMMAND YOU.
18:06 - 18:10
DAD, WHAT ARE YOU DOIN'?
18:10 - 18:13
UH, NOTHIN', I WAS JUST WALKING BY AND I THOUGHT I HEARD...
18:13 - 18:16
UH, DON'T TAKE THE TEST TOMORROW.
18:16 - 18:17
I HAVE TO.
18:17 - 18:19
WHAT HAVE THEY GOT ON YOU, BOY?
18:19 - 18:20
I'M IN A JAM HERE.
18:21 - 18:22
CONNIE SAYS SHE'LL HAVE TO DUMP ME
18:22 - 18:25
IF I DON'T TAKE THE TEST.
18:25 - 18:28
[SIGHING] WELL, WE DEFINITELY CAN'T HAVE THAT.
18:28 - 18:30
THAT'S WHY I'M PRAYIN' MY GUTS OUT.
18:30 - 18:32
BUT I'M NOT GETTIN' AN ANSWER.
18:33 - 18:35
I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.
18:36 - 18:38
UH, EVERYTHING IS GONNA...
18:38 - 18:40
IT'S GONNA BE ALL RIGHT. UH...
18:42 - 18:44
SO JUST HANG IN THERE.
18:48 - 18:49
OK, THEN.
18:52 - 18:54
DON'T FORGET TO BRUSH.
19:03 - 19:05
OK, HERE WE GO.
19:05 - 19:08
LORD, HANK HILL HERE, METHODIST.
19:08 - 19:11
SORRY ABOUT MISSIN' THE HOMELESS PRAYER SERVICE.
19:12 - 19:13
NOW, ABOUT BOBBY,
19:13 - 19:16
I'M PRETTY SURE WE'RE ON THE SAME PAGE
19:16 - 19:18
ABOUT THIS LAMA THING.
19:18 - 19:20
I WAS KIND OF HOPIN' THAT YOU COULD JUST
19:20 - 19:22
HAVE HIM FAIL THIS TEST TOMORROW.
19:22 - 19:24
YOU KNOW, LIKE YOU'VE HAD HIM FAIL
19:24 - 19:26
SO MANY OTHER TESTS IN THE PAST.
19:26 - 19:27
[TOILET FLUSHING]
19:28 - 19:31
UH, OH, AND, UH, THE--THE STARVING KIDS.
19:31 - 19:32
GOTTA GO. AMEN.
19:45 - 19:47
[BIRDS CHIRPING]
20:01 - 20:03
HEY, BOBBY HILL, LOOK.
20:03 - 20:05
I GOT A STATUE OF BUDDHA.
20:05 - 20:07
SEPARATED AT BIRTH, OR WHAT!
20:15 - 20:17
IF HE PICKS RIGHT,
20:17 - 20:19
HE GETS TO KEEP ALL THOSE PRIZES.
20:20 - 20:22
MMM-HMM? WHAT--WHAT IF HE PICKS WRONG?
20:22 - 20:23
CAP SNAFFLER.
20:24 - 20:26
SNAFFLES CAPS OFF ALL SIZE JUGS, BOTTLES, AND JARS,
20:26 - 20:28
AND IT REALLY, REALLY WORKS.
20:31 - 20:33
THIS IS THE FINAL TEST.
20:34 - 20:35
PLEASE
20:35 - 20:37
CHOOSE AN ITEM YOU SEE ON THIS RUG.
20:37 - 20:38
[SIGHING]
21:00 - 21:04
I CAN PICK ANYTHING I SEE ON THIS RUG?
21:04 - 21:05
YES.
21:05 - 21:07
I PICK CONNIE.
21:07 - 21:09
RIGHT THERE IN THE MIRROR.
21:09 - 21:10
[CONNIE GASPS]
21:10 - 21:12
HEY, MAKE HIM PICK FOR REAL. HE CHEATING.
21:12 - 21:14
THERE IS NO CHEATING.
21:14 - 21:17
THE TEST HAS BEEN TAKEN. HE HAS CHOSEN.
21:17 - 21:18
OH, BOBBY.
21:19 - 21:21
[SCREAMING]
21:23 - 21:25
DO YOU THINK MAYBE I SHOULD PICK?
21:26 - 21:27
NO.
21:37 - 21:38
HMM, PACK IT UP.
21:38 - 21:40
BUT THAT WAS SANGLUG'S MIRROR.
21:40 - 21:41
I KNOW.
21:41 - 21:43
BUT HE DIDN'T PICK IT.
21:43 - 21:44
BUT HE USED IT.
21:45 - 21:46
MMM-HMM.
21:46 - 21:48
TOUGH CALL.
21:48 - 21:50
BUT IT'S MINE, AND I MADE IT.
22:27 - 22:29
(KAHN) YEAH, YEAH, BUDDHIST, WHATEVER. MONKS.