Propaniac

S03E08 - Good Hill Hunting

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    [CLANKING]

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    YUP.

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    YUP.

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    MMM-HMM.

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    SEE? I TOLD YOU IT WASN'T ME GOING THROUGH YOUR GARBAGE.

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    SEE? DEER.

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    I GUESS WE OWE YOU AN APOLOGY,

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    AND I GUESS THOSE WERE PROBABLY DEER DROPPINGS, TOO.

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    PROBABLY.

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    THOSE DEER ARE INFILTRATING THE HUMAN QUADRANT.

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    THEY'VE REPLACED FIRE ANTS AS THE NUMBER ONE EX-URBAN PEST.

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    IF EVERYTHING I KNOW ABOUT EXTERMINATING IS TRUE, WHICH IT IS,

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    WE GOT TO FIND THE QUEEN DEER AND TAKE HER OUT.

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    QUEEN DEER. I'LL BET SHE'S BEAUTIFUL.

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    AND THE BEST PART IS JOSEPH'S FINALLY OLD ENOUGH TO COME.

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    YUP, I'M TAKING MY BOY ON HIS FIRST HUNT

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    THE SAME WAY MY DAD TOOK ME

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    25 YEARS AGO.

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    WE'RE NOT JUST KILLING A DEER,

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    WE'RE KILLING JOSEPH'S CHILDHOOD.

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    YOU. I AM PHOTOGRAPHICALLY MEMORIZING YOUR FACE.

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    (BILL) LOOK AT THAT.

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    HE'S STARING RIGHT BACK AT YOU.

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    GIT!

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    [CLAPPING HANDS]

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    OK, HANK. YOU CAN BORROW MY TACKSTAR LASER SIGHT.

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    BOBBY'S FIRST HUNT,

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    SO HE'LL NEED THE RUSSIAN NIGHT VISION GOGGLES.

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    MY JOSEPH'S GOT THE BIONIC EAR BOOSTER,

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    AND I'LL BE IN CHARGE OF THE GOOD STUFF.

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    DEER WEE-WEE.

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    SUPER-PREMIUM ESTRUS DEER WEE-WEE.

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    A LITTLE DAB'LL DO YA.

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    THIS IS CRAZY. PEOPLE USED TO GO HUNTING,

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    AND ALL THEY'D NEED WAS AN ORANGE SHIRT AND A 6-PACK.

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    TIMES HAVE CHANGED, HANK.

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    BUT YOU'D KNOW ALL THIS IF YOU WERE A HUNTER.

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    FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, MAN.

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    YOU GO TO CHURCH MORE THAN YOU GO HUNTING.

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    YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED.

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    [ALL LAUGHING]

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    I'M NOT ASHAMED.

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    AND I'M GLAD THERE'S PEOPLE OUT THERE THINNING THE HERD.

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    BUT IF I WANNA GET SLOPPY DRUNK

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    AND SHOOT OFF GUNS WITH A BUNCH OF GUYS,

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    I'LL GO TO MY DAD'S OSCAR PARTY.

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    HANK, A HUNTING TRIP'S NOT JUST ABOUT

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    GETTING DRUNK OR SHOOTING DEER.

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    IT'S ABOUT GETTING OUT IN THE WOODS,

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    AWAY FROM THE GOVERNMENT,

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    WHERE YOUR PAPER MONEY'S USELESS,

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    UNLESS YOU RUN OUT OF LEAVES.

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    WHERE MAN CAN LET DOWN HIS GUARD

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    AND SHARE HIS BIGGEST FEARS.

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    DALE, YOU WITH YOUR GUARD DOWN IS MY BIGGEST FEAR.

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    MY BIGGEST FEAR IS THAT LITTLE POINTY...

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    WELL, I'LL SAVE IT FOR THE TRIP.

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    YOU MEAN THE BEETLE?

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    SHUT UP. I WAS SAVING THAT FOR THE TRIP.

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    (BOBBY) DON'T THINK OF IT AS A RIFLE.

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    THINK OF IT AS A PART OF YOUR BODY THAT FIRES BULLETS.

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    WHEN THE TIME COMES,

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    YOU THINK YOU'LL BE ABLE TO, YOU KNOW, PULL THE TRIGGER?

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    OH, YEAH. I DON'T WANNA BE THE ONLY KID AROUND WHO DOESN'T KILL A DEER.

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    YOU COULD GET A LOSER NICKNAME LIKE, I DON'T KNOW...

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    PORK POCKETS?

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    MORE ABOUT NOT KILLING DEER, BUT, YEAH.

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    BUT WE DON'T HAVE TO WORRY

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    'CAUSE WE'LL BE HUNTING WITH OUR DADS. A TEAM.

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    [BIRD SQUAWKING]

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    [GROWLING]

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    [GROANING]

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    [GASPS]

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    GO GET HIM, BOBBY.

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    NO, WE'RE A TEAM.

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    [GRUNTING]

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    [GUN CLICKING]

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    [BIRDS TWITTERING]

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    BOBBY, I JUST WANNA SAY THAT YOU ARE PERFECT, AND A MAN.

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    I DON'T MEAN TO BRAG,

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    ESPECIALLY ABOUT SOMETHING THAT HASN'T ACTUALLY HAPPENED YET.

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    (HANK) WHAT'S WITH THE BANDAGES?

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    LUANNE FIXING TO GIVE YOU ANOTHER HAIRCUT?

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    THIS IS FOR YOU AND BOBBY TO TAKE ON YOUR HUNTING TRIP.

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    YOU'LL BE READY FOR CUTS, SPRAINS,

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    AND I EVEN PUT IN A NEEDLE AND THREAD

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    TO SEW YOUR EAR BACK ON AFTER BOBBY TALKS IT OFF.

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    YEAH.

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    WE'LL BE GOSSIPING LIKE SCHOOLGIRLS.

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    AND I MADE A LITTLE HUNTING PERMIT CASE OUT OF A FREEZER BAG.

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    GIVE ME YOUR PERMIT AND I'LL STICK IT IN.

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    WELL, I HAVEN'T REALLY GOT THE PERMIT YET.

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    YOU DIDN'T BUY THE PERMIT YET?

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    HANK, WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?

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    NOTHING. UH, THAT REMINDS ME,

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    DID YOU GET THE BATTERIES FOR BOBBY'S GAME BOY?

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    AND DID YOU PACK HIS BACKUP GAME BOY?

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    BOBBY'S NOT BRINGING TOYS ON THIS TRIP.

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    AND WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME HE HAD 2 WHOLE DAYS TO SPEND

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    JUST TALKING WITH HIS FATHER?

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    I SPEND LOTS OF TIME WITH BOBBY.

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    HE'S THERE WHEN I EAT.

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    HE'S THERE WHEN I WATCH T.V.

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    I'VE THROWN COUNTLESS BALLS AT HIM IN THE BACKYARD.

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    [SIGHING]

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    HANK,

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    YOU'RE SCARED OF BEING ALONE WITH HIM.

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    I AM NOT.

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    YOU ARE SCARED OF YOUR OWN SON.

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    MAYBE I AM. SO WHAT? I DON'T GET HIM SOMETIMES.

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    THE THINGS THAT COME OUT OF HIS MOUTH...

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    AND HE'S ALMOST A TEENAGER, SO IT'S JUST GONNA GET WORSE.

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    AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT WE'RE GONNA TALK ABOUT FOR 2 DAYS.

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    HELL, YES, I'M SCARED.

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    THIS IS AN IMPORTANT MILESTONE

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    ON BOBBY'S ROAD TO BECOMING A SUCCESSFUL ADULT.

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    ONE OF THE BIG 3. AGE 12: FIRST HUNT.

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    AGE 16: LEARNS TO DRIVE.

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    AGE 18: FINALLY TURNS 18.

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    GIVE HIM THIS MILESTONE, HANK,

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    SO HE CAN MOVE ON TO THE NEXT AND THE NEXT

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    AND EVENTUALLY MOVE OUT OF THE HOUSE.

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    AND THEN YOU WON'T HAVE TO TALK TO HIM AT ALL.

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    ALL RIGHT, FINE. I'LL GET THE PERMIT,

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    BOBBY'LL KILL THE DEER, AND EVERYONE WILL LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER.

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    [GROANING]

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    BOBBY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN THE MASTER BEDROOM?

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    THE TRUCK'S ALL PACKED, BREAKFAST IS COOKED

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    AND HERE'S YOUR ROBE, TOWEL, AND TOOTHBRUSH.

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    ♪ I'M A TRAVELING MAN MADE A LOT OF STOPS ♪

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    ♪ ALL OVER THE WORLD ♪

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    ♪ AND IN EVERY PORT ♪

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    ♪ I OWN THE HEART OF AT LEAST ONE ♪

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    [SIGHING]

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    HELLO, SON. WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

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    WATCHING.

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    WHAT DOES A RAZOR SMELL LIKE?

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    I BET IT SMELLS REALLY GOOD. LIKE METAL.

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    YEAH, HUH. OK.

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    WHY DON'T YOU WAIT IN THE KITCHEN, BOBBY?

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    I CAN'T SHAVE AND TALK AT THE SAME TIME.

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    THAT'S OK. WE DON'T HAVE TO TALK.

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    [WATER SPLASHING]

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    HMM, YOUR BOY'S FIRST BUCK.

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    I REMEMBER MY FIRST BUCK.

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    TOOK ME 6 SHOTS TO BRING HIM DOWN, 3 MORE TO FINISH HIM OFF.

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    THERE WAS NO USABLE MEAT LEFT.

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    BUT WHAT A THRILL.

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    SUG', YOU'RE TAKING AWAY MY BOY,

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    AND YOU'RE GONNA BRING HIM HOME A MAN.

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    [SNIFFLING]

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    AND HOW LONG IS THAT GONNA TAKE EXACTLY?

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    SORRY, BABE.

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    YOU'LL HAVE TO DO WITHOUT THE BIG "D" FOR AT LEAST 2 NIGHTS.

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    ♪[MUSIC PLAYING ON CAR STEREO]

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    DALE.

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    JOHN REDCORN. YOU BROUGHT BACK THAT TEA BAG I LENT YOU?

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    NO. I HAVE SOMETHING FOR JOSEPH.

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    YOUR FIRST HUNTING TRIP IS A SACRED OCCASION.

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    THE DEER YOU KILL WILL BE A RELATIVE.

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    YOU MUST SHOW YOUR RESPECT FOR HIM AND ALL THE DEER PEOPLE,

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    FIRST BY GIVING THANKS,

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    THEN BY USING EVERY PART OF HIS BODY.

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    NO PROB. WE'RE TAKING OLD MISTER BUCK RIGHT TO THE RENDERING PLANT

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    FOR SAUSAGEIFICATION.

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    THIS HUNTING KNIFE WAS GIVEN TO ME

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    BY MY FATHER, AND TO HIM BY HIS FATHER.

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    NOW, I PASS IT ALONG TO YOU.

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    A USED KNIFE.

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    UMM...

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    COOL. THANKS.

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    LET ME HUG MY CHILD ONE LAST TIME.

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    OH, MY BIG BOY!

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    ABOUT TO BECOME MY LITTLE MAN.

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    [WHISPERING] HONEY, I FILLED YOUR RIFLE BAG WITH FRUIT PIES.

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    YOUR RIFLE IS IN YOUR SLEEPING BAG.

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    THANKS, MOM.

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    I MEAN, PEGGY.

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    (DALE) LET'S GO! LET'S GO! LET'S GO!

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    JUST A SECOND.

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    THERE'S ONE LAST ERRAND I NEED TO RUN.

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    WHAT DO YOU NEED? MIKE AND IKE'S?

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    GOT YOU COVERED.

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    NO, I JUST NEED TO HOP ON OVER TO THE COUNTY OFFICE

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    AND PICK UP A COUPLE OF HUNTING PERMITS.

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    DON'T WORRY, I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

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    CAN I HELP YOU?

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    YEAH, I'M TAKING MY BOY HUNTING,

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    SO I NEED A COUPLE OF PERMITS.

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    OH, AND ONE OF THOSE "DON'T MESS WITH TEXAS" BUMPER STICKERS.

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    NO MORE DEER PERMITS THIS YEAR.

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    WHY NOT? THEY HAVEN'T ALL BEEN SHOT.

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    I CAUGHT ONE PICKING THROUGH MY GARBAGE LIKE THIS WAS NEW YORK CITY.

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    I KNOW. THEY'RE A REAL NUISANCE.

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    THEY'RE EATING EVERYTHING IN SIGHT.

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    OF COURSE. THERE'S TOO MANY DEER AND NOT ENOUGH FOOD.

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    ISSUE MORE PERMITS OR THEY'LL ALL STARVE.

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    YEAH, SORRY.

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    WE HAD TO LIMIT IT TO 400 THIS YEAR.

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    ONLY WAY TO GET THE ENVIRONMENTALISTS OFF THEIR HUNGER STRIKE.

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    SO YOU'RE TELLING ME MY BOY CAN'T GO HUNTING

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    BECAUSE YOU WOULDN'T LET A COUPLE OF TWIG BOYS STARVE?

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    FORGET NUMBER 6.

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    YOU'RE NOW SERVING NONSENSE.

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    GOOD LUCK ON YOUR HUNTING TRIP, BOBBY.

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    THANKS.

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    JUST SO YOU KNOW, I'M LEAVING A BOY,

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    I'M COMING BACK A MAN.

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    YOU'RE LUCKY. I'M LEAVING A GIRL, AND COMING BACK A MAN.

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    (KAHN) HEY, KAHN JR.! I'M IN THE CAR.

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    YOU RIDE SHOTGUN.

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    AND DON'T FORGET RAISIN BAGELS.

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    THEY'RE IN MY BRIEFCASE.

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    ALL RIGHT, EVERYONE, LET'S GO.

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    UH, GUYS, WHY DON'T YOU GO ON AHEAD?

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    BOBBY, HOP IN.

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    [TIRES SCREECHING]

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    [EXHALING]

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    BOBBY, UH, THERE'S SOMETHING I WANT TO TELL YOU.

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    (BOBBY) NO, ME FIRST.

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    I KNOW I'M ABOUT TO BE A MAN, DAD.

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    SO I WANTED TO TAKE THIS LAST CHANCE

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    TO TELL YOU HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU.

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    [SIGHING]

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    YOU MIGHT WANT TO TAKE THIS LAST CHANCE TO CRY, TOO.

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    BECAUSE WE'RE NOT GOING.

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    [GRUNTING]

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    YOU SEE THAT?

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    HE'S ALREADY PRACTICING UP FOR NEXT SEASON.

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    I TELL YOU WHAT, PEGGY, WITH THIS EXTRA YEAR UNDER HIS BELT,

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    HE'S NOT ONLY GONNA BE A MAN, HE'S GONNA BE A SUPERMAN.

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    HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT?

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    OUR SON, A SUPERMAN.

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    [SIGHING]

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    YOU HAVE NO CLUE, DO YOU?

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    WOULD YOU LOOK AT HIM?

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    HE'S AT THE AGE WHERE LITTLE-BOY HORMONES GET VIOLENT.

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    THEY DON'T CALL THEM NICE, QUIET, WELL-BEHAVED HORMONES.

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    THEY'RE RAGING, HANK!

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    HE HAS A CHEMICAL NEED TO KILL.

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    I WAS COUNTING ON YOU TO CHANNEL THAT NEED AWAY FROM HUMANS.

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    [COCKING]

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    [YELLING]

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    [PANTING]

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    I'LL BE LOCKING MY BEDROOM DOOR TONIGHT.

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    SO PLEASE BE IN BY 10:00 P.M.

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    RED DOG ONE, THIS IS RED DOG THREE.

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    DO YOU COPY? OVER.

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    TEN-FOUR, RED DOG THREE.

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    [WALKIE-TALKIE SCREECHING]

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    [BOTH SCREAMING]

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    DAMN INFERIOR SOVIET SURPLUS MERCHANDISE.

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    NEVER DOES WHAT IT'S SUPPOSED TO.

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    OR MAYBE IT'S DOING EXACTLY WHAT IT'S SUPPOSED TO DO.

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    MAYBE IT JUST BOUNCED A SIGNAL

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    OFF A SATELLITE TO AN ATTACK SUB

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    IN THE GULF OF MEXICO WHOSE MISSION IS TO READ OUR BRAIN WAVES.

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    THAT'S MY BOY!

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    I WAS ABOUT TO SAY PRECISELY THE SAME THING.

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    EXCEPT THE SUB'S IN LAKE SUPERIOR.

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    (PEGGY) WHAT ARE YOU DOING, BOBBY?

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    NOTHING.

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    THERE'S A SPIDER IN THE KITCHEN.

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    WOULD YOU LIKE TO COME KILL IT?

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    NO, THANKS.

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    OK, THEN.

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    [PEGGY SWATTING]

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    [SIGHING]

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    [SNORING]

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    HANK! HANK, WAKE UP.

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    I JUST WANT TO TELL YOU THAT I'M LEARNING MORE ABOUT

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    HOW YOU DESTROYED BOBBY'S LIFE.

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    I SEARCHED THROUGH MY OLD SOCIAL STUDIES FILES, AND LOOK WHAT I FOUND.

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    IN A TRIBE IN PAPUA NEW GUINEA,

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    A BOY WHO MISSES OUT ON A RITE OF PASSAGE,

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    IN THEIR CASE, KILLING A MISSIONARY, REMAINS A BOY FOREVER.

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    HE WILL NEVER BECOME A MAN.

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    THIS IS A REPORT BY A 7TH-GRADER. AND IT ONLY GOT A "C."

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    I HAVE BACKUP. LOOK AT THIS 4TH-GRADE WORD FIND

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    ABOUT THE HURON INDIANS' RITES OF PASSAGE.

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    "MADNESS"?

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    WHEN A LITTLE HURON INDIAN BOY WANTS TO ACHIEVE MANHOOD

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    BUT HE FAILS TO KILL AN ELK, HE WILL GET PHYSICALLY ILL

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    AND THEN GO STARK RAVING MAD.

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    WELL, I DID SEE BOBBY TALKING TO THE MRS. BUTTERWORTH BOTTLE.

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    BUT I DIDN'T THINK IT WAS STRANGE AT THE TIME.

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    (EUSTACE) HEY, HANK,

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    COULD YOU GIVE ME A HAND CARRYING THIS OUT TO MY S.U.V?

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    EUSTACE? I'VE NEVER SEEN YOU IN HERE BEFORE.

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    FINALLY DECIDED TO MAKE THE SWITCH TO PROPANE, HUH?

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    YOU KNOW, I THINK YOU'LL FIND IT'S THE PERFECT CHOICE FOR ALL YOUR HEATING--

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    THANKS, BUT WE USE PASSIVE SOLAR.

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    THE PROPANE'S FOR COOKING RANDY'S DEER, ONCE HE KILLS IT, OF COURSE.

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    WHAT? YOU'RE GONNA TAKE THAT SON OF YOURS HUNTING?

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    OH, I'VE GOT TO. IT'S A RITE OF PASSAGE.

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    AT LEAST, THAT'S THE FEELING IN MY MEN'S GROUP.

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    THAT'S WHY I'M NOT TAKING ANY CHANCES.

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    LA GRUNTA.

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    THE LA GRUNTA HOTEL AND RESORT DOES A HUNT EVERY YEAR.

  • 13:35 - 13:36

    THEY TAKE CARE OF EVERYTHING.

  • 13:36 - 13:39

    GUNS, PERMITS, APRES HUNT WINE-TASTING.

  • 13:39 - 13:41

    PERMITS?

  • 13:41 - 13:45

    "CUSHIONED SHOOTING STANDS, HEATED BLINDS WITH AUTOMATIC CORN FEEDERS."

  • 13:45 - 13:46

    THAT'S NOT HUNTING.

  • 13:46 - 13:48

    THAT'S SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL.

  • 13:48 - 13:50

    (EUSTACE) OH, THEY--THEY HAVE THAT, TOO.

  • 14:00 - 14:02

    [EXCLAIMS]

  • 14:02 - 14:04

    YOU WANT TO RIDE BIKES WITH ME?

  • 14:05 - 14:06

    OK.

  • 14:06 - 14:10

    ...WHICH BRINGS US TO THE TRILATERAL COMMISSION.

  • 14:10 - 14:12

    IRONICALLY NAMED, BECAUSE THERE'S ACTUALLY 4--

  • 14:12 - 14:15

    DAD, I THINK I HEAR A DEER.

  • 14:15 - 14:16

    [GULPS]

  • 14:16 - 14:18

    I'D BETTER GO HAVE A LOOK.

  • 14:26 - 14:28

    [SCREAMING]

  • 14:29 - 14:30

    THANKS.

  • 14:30 - 14:31

    [GUN FIRING]

  • 14:31 - 14:32

    [WHOOPING]

  • 14:32 - 14:34

    [BOTH LAUGHING VICTORIOUSLY]

  • 14:35 - 14:37

    NICE THROW, DAD.

  • 14:37 - 14:38

    NICE SHOT, SON.

  • 14:38 - 14:40

    WE MAKE A GREAT TEAM, DON'T WE?

  • 14:40 - 14:41

    YUP.

  • 14:41 - 14:44

    THE GRIBBLE DOESN'T FALL FAR FROM THE TREE.

  • 14:44 - 14:45

    [BOTH CHUCKLE]

  • 14:47 - 14:49

    [IMITATING GUNFIRE]

  • 14:49 - 14:50

    [IMITATING GUNFIRE]

  • 14:51 - 14:52

    [GASPS]

  • 14:52 - 14:53

    [WHIMPERING]

  • 14:54 - 14:55

    BOBBY!

  • 14:55 - 14:56

    BOBBY, STOP PLAYING DEAD.

  • 14:56 - 14:58

    GET UP BEFORE SOMEONE SEES YOU.

  • 14:58 - 15:02

    WHAT WAS THAT? DAD, IS THAT YOU?

  • 15:02 - 15:04

    EVERYTHING'S SO DIM.

  • 15:04 - 15:05

    BOBBY, GET UP.

  • 15:06 - 15:07

    I'M NOT GONNA MAKE IT.

  • 15:07 - 15:09

    YOU ARE NOT INJURED.

  • 15:09 - 15:11

    THE GOLD IS BURIED...

  • 15:11 - 15:12

    [WHEEZING]

  • 15:13 - 15:15

    IT'S BURIED...

  • 15:17 - 15:18

    [MOANING]

  • 15:18 - 15:19

    STAND UP.

  • 15:19 - 15:22

    BOBBY, LOOK WHAT I GOT.

  • 15:22 - 15:23

    [EXCLAIMING VICTORIOUSLY]

  • 15:23 - 15:25

    I GOT SHOT IN A HOLDUP.

  • 15:25 - 15:26

    WHAT?

  • 15:26 - 15:28

    HE'S FINE, CONNIE.

  • 15:28 - 15:32

    HE HAD AN ALLERGIC REACTION TO A FRUIT PIE, THAT'S ALL.

  • 15:32 - 15:33

    (BILL) THAT'S IT.

  • 15:33 - 15:36

    HELL, YEAH. LOOK AT THAT BEAUT.

  • 15:36 - 15:38

    HOW ABOUT THIS KID, HANK?

  • 15:38 - 15:41

    EXCUSE ME. HOW ABOUT THIS MAN?

  • 15:41 - 15:43

    LOOK AT ME.

  • 15:43 - 15:46

    EVERYBODY'S GOT A DEER AND I DON'T.

  • 15:47 - 15:48

    [SNIFFLING]

  • 15:48 - 15:51

    EVERYTHING LOOKS SO CHRISTMASSY.

  • 15:54 - 15:58

    NOW I KNOW HOW THE JEWISH KIDS FEEL.

  • 15:58 - 15:59

    [BOBBY CRYING]

  • 15:59 - 16:03

    BOBBY, HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO TRADE IN THAT COWBOY COSTUME

  • 16:03 - 16:05

    FOR A HUNTING PERMIT?

  • 16:05 - 16:09

    WHAT? DO YOU MEAN IT? YOU GOT A PERMIT?

  • 16:09 - 16:11

    I GOT BETTER THAN A PERMIT.

  • 16:11 - 16:13

    I GOT LA GRUNTA.

  • 16:20 - 16:23

    THIS IS FANCY. WHERE DO THE DEER STAY?

  • 16:23 - 16:25

    THEY DON'T KEEP THE DEER IN THE HOTEL.

  • 16:26 - 16:28

    GOD! I HOPE THEY DON'T.

  • 16:29 - 16:32

    HI, I'M BEVERLY LA GRUNTA. NO RELATION.

  • 16:32 - 16:33

    CAN I HELP YOU?

  • 16:33 - 16:35

    UH, WE'RE HERE TO DEER HUNT.

  • 16:35 - 16:38

    WONDERFUL! THE SHUTTLE LEAVES IN A HALF AN HOUR.

  • 16:38 - 16:39

    IT'S $400 FOR TWO.

  • 16:39 - 16:41

    WILL THAT BE CASH OR CREDIT?

  • 16:41 - 16:42

    $400?

  • 16:43 - 16:47

    UH, HEY, BOBBY, LOOK AT ALL THIS OTHER STUFF.

  • 16:47 - 16:50

    WE COULD GOLF OR SWIM WITH A DOLPHIN.

  • 16:50 - 16:51

    CAN I HUNT IT?

  • 16:51 - 16:56

    UH, IT DOESN'T SAY. HEY, HERE YOU GO. "MUSEUM OF MINIATURES."

  • 16:56 - 16:58

    $40 AND WORTH EVERY PENNY, IF YOU ASK ME.

  • 17:01 - 17:03

    DON'T GET UPSET, NOW.

  • 17:03 - 17:05

    I WAS JUST TESTING YOU.

  • 17:05 - 17:06

    [LAUGHS NERVOUSLY]

  • 17:06 - 17:08

    YOU PASSED.

  • 17:11 - 17:12

    (BOY) HEY, BOBBY!

  • 17:13 - 17:15

    LOOK AT MY DEER.

  • 17:15 - 17:18

    HE SHOT IT ALL BY HIMSELF.

  • 17:18 - 17:20

    THEY WRAPPED IT AT THE GIFT SHOP.

  • 17:29 - 17:30

    [GASPS]

  • 17:31 - 17:32

    [BIRD SQUAWKS]

  • 17:33 - 17:34

    [SIGHING]

  • 17:34 - 17:36

    IT'S BEAUTIFUL.

  • 17:36 - 17:37

    BOY, YOU SAID IT.

  • 17:37 - 17:39

    NOW, CAREFUL WHEN YOU WALK.

  • 17:39 - 17:43

    DEER CAN HEAR THE RHYTHMIC PATTERN OF HUMAN FOOTSTEPS.

  • 17:43 - 17:44

    GOTCHA!

  • 17:46 - 17:48

    [VEHICLE APPROACHING]

  • 17:48 - 17:52

    THERE'S AN OPEN STAND IN PASTURE 2 WITH YOUR NAME ON IT.

  • 17:53 - 17:54

    THAT'D BE HILL, RIGHT?

  • 17:54 - 17:57

    I WILL NEVER FORGET THIS MOMENT, DAD.

  • 17:57 - 18:01

    IT'S THE GREATEST THING THAT EVER HAPPENED TO ME.

  • 18:01 - 18:04

    WHEN I'M A MAN, DO I STILL GET MY ALLOWANCE

  • 18:04 - 18:07

    OR DO I GET UP TO MINIMUM WAGE?

  • 18:07 - 18:09

    WELL, SON, NOW THAT YOU'RE GONNA BE A MAN,

  • 18:09 - 18:12

    YOU'RE GONNA HAVE MORE RESPONSIBILITIES,

  • 18:12 - 18:15

    AND MAYBE YOU DO DESERVE A LITTLE MORE EACH WEEK.

  • 18:16 - 18:17

    YUP.

  • 18:17 - 18:18

    YUP!

  • 18:20 - 18:22

    [CORN FEEDER WHIRRING]

  • 18:29 - 18:32

    [WHISPERING] I THINK I'M GONNA SHOOT THE ONE ON THE LEFT.

  • 18:32 - 18:34

    WHAT DO YOU THINK, DAD?

  • 18:34 - 18:37

    UH, I DON'T THINK YOU HAVE TO WHISPER ANYMORE, BOBBY.

  • 18:41 - 18:45

    (BOBBY) SQUEEZE, DON'T PULL.

  • 18:49 - 18:50

    [BIRDS TWITTERING]

  • 18:51 - 18:54

    THIS ISN'T RIGHT, IS IT, DAD?

  • 18:54 - 18:56

    NO, IT ISN'T, SON.

  • 19:00 - 19:01

    (HANK) I'M SORRY, BOBBY.

  • 19:01 - 19:04

    I GUESS I REALLY LET YOU DOWN, DIDN'T I?

  • 19:04 - 19:08

    IT'S OK. I KNOW YOU DIDN'T MEAN FOR IT TO BE THIS HORRIBLE.

  • 19:08 - 19:10

    YOU KNOW, THERE'S PLENTY OF WORSE THINGS

  • 19:10 - 19:12

    THAN GETTING TO HOLD ON TO YOUR BOYHOOD

  • 19:12 - 19:14

    FOR A WHOLE OTHER YEAR.

  • 19:14 - 19:18

    AND BY HOLDING ON TO YOUR BOYHOOD, I DON'T MEAN--

  • 19:18 - 19:20

    I KNOW, DAD. I KNOW.

  • 19:20 - 19:24

    LOOK AT IT THIS WAY. THIS GIVES ME AN EXTRA YEAR

  • 19:24 - 19:27

    TO LEARN FROM THE MAN I'D MOST LIKE TO BE LIKE

  • 19:27 - 19:29

    WHEN I FINALLY BECOME A MAN.

  • 19:31 - 19:32

    [SIGHS]

  • 19:32 - 19:34

    DAMN IT, BOBBY! THIS JUST AIN'T RIGHT.

  • 19:34 - 19:37

    YOU'RE 12 YEARS OLD. YOU'RE A GOOD SON.

  • 19:37 - 19:38

    YOU DESERVE BETTER THAN THIS.

  • 19:38 - 19:40

    [BRAKES SQUEALING]

  • 19:40 - 19:43

    I'M GONNA SKIP YOU AHEAD ONE WHOLE MILESTONE.

  • 19:43 - 19:45

    I'M GONNA LET YOU DRIVE MY TRUCK.

  • 19:45 - 19:46

    WHAT?

  • 19:46 - 19:48

    YOU HEARD ME. WELL, COME ON.

  • 19:48 - 19:50

    GRAB SOME WHEEL.

  • 19:50 - 19:54

    I DON'T BELIEVE IT! I'M IN YOUR SEAT!

  • 19:54 - 19:55

    BELIEVE IT, BOBBY.

  • 19:55 - 19:57

    IT'S REAL, AND IT'S REALLY HAPPENING.

  • 19:57 - 20:00

    NOW, YOU GOTTA REACH THE PEDALS.

  • 20:01 - 20:02

    [GRUNTS]

  • 20:02 - 20:05

    AND NOW, WE'LL FIX YOUR MIRROR.

  • 20:05 - 20:07

    OK, START HER UP.

  • 20:07 - 20:11

    NOW, THAT'S THE GEAR SHIFT, AND THAT'S THE BRAKE.

  • 20:11 - 20:12

    AND, WELL, YOU'VE SEEN THE MOVIES.

  • 20:12 - 20:14

    YOU KNOW HOW IT WORKS. LET'S GO.

  • 20:19 - 20:20

    [ENGINE SPUTTERING]

  • 20:25 - 20:27

    KEEP IT STEADY. THAT'S GOOD.

  • 20:27 - 20:29

    THIS IS SO COOL.

  • 20:29 - 20:34

    I'M DRIVING THE HELL OUT OF THIS TRUCK, AREN'T I, DAD?

  • 20:34 - 20:37

    YOU SURE ARE, SON. YOU SURE ARE.

  • 20:38 - 20:40

    [BOTH SCREAMING]

  • 20:40 - 20:42

    (HANK) BRAKE! NO!

  • 20:42 - 20:43

    [THUDDING]

  • 20:44 - 20:45

    OH, NO!

  • 20:45 - 20:48

    I HIT A DEER WITH YOUR TRUCK.

  • 20:48 - 20:50

    OH, GOD!

  • 20:50 - 20:52

    YEAH. YEAH, YOU DID.

  • 20:54 - 20:57

    AND IT'S A GOOD, CLEAN KILL.

  • 20:57 - 20:59

    YUP, A GOOD KILL.

  • 21:03 - 21:05

    OH, THEY'RE HOME.

  • 21:05 - 21:06

    YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN IT, PEGGY.

  • 21:06 - 21:09

    IT CAME OUT OF THE WOODS, AND CHARGED RIGHT AT US.

  • 21:09 - 21:12

    BUT BOBBY TOOK CARE OF IT. NO PROBLEM.

  • 21:12 - 21:13

    DIDN'T YOU, BOY?

  • 21:13 - 21:15

    I MEAN, MAN.

  • 21:18 - 21:22

    OH, MY SON. MY BIG, STRONG, NORMAL SON.

  • 21:23 - 21:25

    NICE GOING, BOBBY.

  • 21:25 - 21:27

    WOULD YOU LOOK AT THE RACK ON THAT THING?

  • 21:27 - 21:29

    MMM-HMM. THERE'S YOUR SAUSAGE PARTS, RIGHT THERE.

  • 21:29 - 21:31

    NICE GOING, BOBBY.

  • 21:31 - 21:32

    (CONNIE) WAY TO GO, BOBBY!

  • 21:32 - 21:33

    (JOSEPH) YEAH!

  • 21:33 - 21:35

    I COULDN'T HAVE DONE IT WITHOUT MY DAD.

  • 21:35 - 21:37

    YUP.

  • 21:46 - 21:47

    [CAMERA CLICKING]

  • 21:56 - 21:57

    [DOG BARKING]

  • 22:04 - 22:06

    [IMITATING DRIVING]

  • 22:13 - 22:14

    [GRUNTING]

  • 22:16 - 22:17

    [GASPS]

  • 22:18 - 22:19

    [GASPS]

  • 22:21 - 22:23

    [GRUNTING]

  • 22:25 - 22:27

    (BOBBY) I'M DRIVING THE HELL OUT OF THIS TRUCK!